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"Sorry, kiddo. Your old man has to work so you can go to the best drug trials in the country."
Tags:lab rat, lab rats, laboratory, laboratories, lab, labs, rat, rats, mouse, mouses, mice, scientist, scientists, maze, mazes, drug trial, drug trials, animal experiment, animal experiments, animal experimentation, ambitious, pushy, college fund, college funds, parent, parents, support, supportive, parental support, sacrifice, sacrifices, work life, home life, animal testing, work, profession, professions, parenting, parenthood
"How long before the clinical trials are over?"
Tags:clinical trial, clinical trials, prescription, prescriptions, drug, medicine, medicines, medication, medications, cave painting, cave paintings, cave drawing, cave drawings, drug trial, drug trials, medical trial, medical trials, prehistoric, prehistory, cavemen, caveman, neanderthal, neanderthals
"Do we wait for it to be approved as an antibiotic, or do we go ahead right now and sell it as furniture polish?"
Tags:antibiotic, antibiotics, medicine, medicines, drug, pharamceutical, pharmaceuticals, pharmaceutical development, drug trial, drug trials, big pharma, chemical, chemicals, harsh chemical, harsh chemicals, moneymaking, big corporation, big corporations, profit, profits, profit motive, drug developer, drug developers, expensive
"About this medical marijuana study. . . I'm totally stoked about the results."
Tags:medical marijuana, medical cannabis, legal marijuana, legalised marijuana, legalised cannabis, drug, hippie, hippies, hippy, drug trial, drug trials, scientific research, scientific breakthrough, research project, research projects, close to my heart, close to your heart, enthusiasm, excited, scientist, scientists
'Human clinical trials start in six months. Sooner if we run out of mice.'
"Are you sure you don't want to try just one miracle drug before you die?"
Tags:doctor, doctors, md, mds, hospital, hospitals, patient, patients, illness, illnesses, fatally ill, fatal illness, deadly disease, deadly diseases, medication, medications, taking medications, miracle, miracles, miracle cure, miracle cures, miracle drug, miracle drugs, drug, dying, old age, refuse help, refusing help, refuse medication, refusing medications, drug trial, drug trials
"36% of our focus group suffered from the side effects, while 14% enjoyed them."
'Our trials show that the new drug performs no better than placebo.'
"This is wonderful. It will help millions of people."
Tags:pharmaceutical, pharmaceuticals, pharmacy, pharmacies, chemist, chemists, chemistry, drug company, drug companies, drug, medical miracle, medical miracles, discovery, discoveries, medical breakthrough, medical breakthroughs, capitalism, capitalist, capitalists, drug trial, drug trials, modern attitudes, modern life
'Before I give you these pills, I want to find out how the guinea pigs are doing.'
Drugs - 'Placebos' and 'Ex-strength placebos'.
"The drug has, however, proved more effective than traditional psychoanalysis."
Tags:therapy, therapist, therapists, counselling, counseling, drug, medicine, medicines, lab rat, lab rats, lab mice, lab mouse, lab-rat, lab-rats, psychiatry, psychology, psychiatrist, psychiatrists, psychologist, psychologists, drug trials, drug trials, experiment, experiments, psychoanalysis, psychoanalyst, anti-depressant, anti-depressants, counselor, counselors, counsellor, counsellors, bad science, flawed data, inaccurate, inaccuracies, flawed experiment, flawed experiments, placebo, placebo effect, animal testing
"So I guess this probably counts as an adverse event."
Tags:adverse event, adverse events, side effect, side effects, clinical trial, clinical trials, trial, trials, drug test, drug tests, drug testing, pharma, pharmaceuticals, pharmaceutical company, pharmaceutical companies, big pharma, doctor, invisible man, drug trials, clinical investigation, medical research, ae, fda, clinical investigations, food and drug administration
'I beleive I have a new approach to psychotherapy, but, like everything else, the FDA tells me it first has to be tested on mice.'
'Just for kicks, let's come up with something that has a good side effect.'
"Sorry, I'm late. I volunteered for the obesity-gene study."
"We still don't understand how this happened. You were with the placebo control group."
"You should start taking probiotics now, before we discover that they don't make any difference."
Tags:doctor, doctors, treatment, treatments, patient, patients, ill, illness, illnesses, drug, probiotic, probiotics, ineffective, bacteria, prevent, prevents, preventing, prevention, drug trial, drug trials, prescribe, prescribes, prescription, incurable, malpractice, medical malpractice, bedside manner, untrustworthy, traditional, remedy, remedies, traditional remedies
"Have we tried you on chipotle?"
"He has a little place in the basement where he's trying to transmute amethysts into antibiotics."
Tags:pharmaceuticals, pharmaceutical company, pharmaceutical companies, drug company, drug companies, big pharma, medical research, medical researchers, alchemy, alchemist, alchemists, drug test, drug tests, drug trial, drug trials, antibiotic, antibiotics, wizard, wizards, magic, magical, transmute, transmutes, transmuting, transmutation, transmutations
"The reason Zylofan costs so much is because they first made Pirolax, kbut it didn't work, so then they made Kivotor, and that didn't work, so they then tried Davicor..."
Tags:pharmaceutical, pharmaceuticals, pharmacy, pharmacies, drug company, drug companies, drug, pharmaceutical company, pharmaceutical companies, drug trial, drug trials, drug test, drug tests, prescription, prescriptions, prescription cost, prescription costs, drug cost, drug costs, drug manufacturing, drug manufacturers
"Now, of the twelve drugs we've tested on you, which one tasted best?"
Tags:drug test, drug tests, drug trial, drug trials, medical trial, medical trials, doctor, doctors, physician, physicians, pill, pills, medication, medications, prescription, prescriptions, test subject, test subjects, healthcare, hospital, patient, patients, medical research, pharmaceutical, pharmaceuticals
"To continue with my recorded observations . . ."
"While invisibility wasn't anticipated, I did warn you there could be unknown side-effects with experimental drugs!"
Tags:experimental drugs, experimental drug, drug trial, drug trials, side effect, drug test, drug tests, side effects, sci fi, science fiction, sci-fi, science-fiction, experimental treatments, side-effect, side-effects, doctor, family physician, invisibility, invisible, invisibilities, scifi, medical advice, drug testing
'Now we'll give the patient our drug.'