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'Uh oh, did we get anything for the snail this year?'
"For kids who think they can be naughty again after Christmas, I'm the Re-Po Elf."
Tags:christmas, xmas, yule, noel, elf, elves, christmas present, christmas presents, christmas gift, christmas gifts, troublesome, kid, kids, child, children, behavior, behaviour, bad behavior, bad behaviour, repo, re-po, repossession, repo man, repo men, repossession agent, repossession agents, santa's list
"I'd like something nice for my boy at Fort Dix."
Tags:shopping, christmas shopping, present shopping, gift shopping, shop, shops, store, store, gun store, gun stores, gun, guns, vintage store, vintage stores, christmas, christmas present, christmas presents, christmas gift, christmas gifts, mom, moms, mum, mums, mother, mothers, proud mother, proud mothers, 1940s, vintage, fort dix, army base, army post, ww2.wwii, world war ii, world war two, wartime
"Soon, felllas, soon."
Tags:santa, santa claus, father christmas, santas sleigh, reindeer, christmas, christmas present, christmas presents, cuba, communism, communist, communists, capitalism, capitalist, capitalists, present, presents, gift, gifts, materialism, commercialism, materialist, cuban government, banned christmas
"Was I upset when you gave me a full day of beauty?"
Tags:couple, couples, husband and wife, husbands and wives, marriages, bad relationship, bad relationships, fitness, unfit, exercise, exercising, exercise machine, exercise machine, insult, insults, overweight, over-weight, criticism, criticising, gift, gifts, christmas, christmas time, christmas gift, christmas gifts, present, presents, christmas presents, christmas present
'Well, don't just stand there Tommy! Open it up and see what's inside!'
a Lump of coal
Tags:christmas, christmas movie, christmas movies, christmas time, christmas stocking, christmas stockings, stocking, stockings, christmas present, christmas presents, feel good movie, feel good movies, feel-good movie, feel-good movies, christmas movie, christmas movies, depressing, miserable, lump of coal, lumps of coal, naughty list, the naughty list, cinema, cinemas, movie theater, movie theaters, movie theatre, movie theatres, stocking filler, stocking fillers
"He just loves his cute little postmortem doll!"
Tags:postmortem, postmortems, post-mortem, post-mortems, coroner, coroner, coroners, doll, dolls, toy, toys, favorite toy, favorite toys, christmas present, christmas presents, anatomy, human anatomy, anatomically correct, psycho, psychotic, sociopath, sociopaths, psychopath, psychopathic, medical, medical school, medical schools, cadaver, cadavers, educational tool, educational tools, christmas, xmas, x-mas
Magical box of chocolates.
Tags:food, chocolate, chocolates, box of chocolate, box of chocolates, chocolatier, chocolatiers, confectionery, confectioneries, confectioner, confectioners, candy maker, candy makers, candy making, sweets, candy, gift, gifts, present, presents, christmas present, christmas presents, christmas gift, christmas gifts, xmas, christmas, disappearing, disappeared, eating, magic, magical, delicious, tasty, addicting
'Good news. Even though you've been spending way beyond your means, the IMF is giving you a bailout. It seems you're too big to fail.'
"It could be post holiday depression, but then, I got really nice gifts."
One man's trash is another's treasure
"When we agreed not to give each other anything, I certainly didn't mean nothing at all."
Tags:couple, couples, husband and wife, husbands and wives, marriages, long term relationship, long term relationship, long-term relationships, bad relationship, bad relationships, marital fight, marital fights, domestic, domestics, domestic argument, domestic arguments, spousal dispute, spousal disputes, christmas, christmas time, christmas present, christmas presents, christmas gift, christmas gifts, misunderstanding, misunderstanding, miscommunication, miscommunications, christmas time
'I'm giving mostly gift certificates this year, so I wrap them with junk from the garage to throw people off track.'
Tags:gift, gifts, suspense, birthday, birthdays, birthday present, birthday presents, christmas present, christmas presents, christmas gift, christmas gifts, xmas present, xmas presents, xmas gift, xmas gifts, birthday gift, birthday gifts, expectation, expectations, bated breath, excitement, excited, tenterhook, tenterhooks, eager, eagerness, bated-breath
"Yeah, everybody says I'm hard to shop for, too."
'No cuts in Medicare!'
"All I know is that some of the best Christmas presents I've ever gotten have come from secular humanists."
Tags:christmas, xmas, yule, noel, gift, gifts, present, presents, christmas tree, christmas gift, christmas gifts, christmas present, christmas presents, christmas trees, party, parties, holiday party, holiday parties, christmas party, christmas parties, cocktail party, cocktail parties, religion, religious, philosophy, philosopher, philosophers, secular humanism, humanism, secular, war on christmas, secular humanist, secular humanists, humanist, humanists
"He'll deliver his own toys this year."
'Let me remind you that in our legal system we're nice until proven naughty.'
Santa eats too many mince pies
"I see many gifts. They say do not open till Christmas."
Tags:fortune-telling, fortunetelling, fortune, fortunes, fortune-teller, fortune-tellers, fortuneteller, fortunetellers, fortune teller, fortune tellers, psychic, psychics, future, prediction, predictions, predicting, client, clients, customer, customers, crystal ball, crystal balls, crystallomancy, crystal-gazing, scrying, vision, visions, see the future, seeing the future, divination, seer, seers, occult, supernatural, gift, gifts, present, presents, christmas, xmas, yule, noel, christmas present, christmas presents, christmas gift, christmas gifts, do not open, patience
"Next Christmas, I drive the cattle, you go see Mom."
Tags:old west, wild west, western, westerns, mid-west, midwest, regional, cowboy, cowboys, horse, horses, cattle drive, cattle drives, herding cattle, ranch, ranches, rancher, ranchers, ranger, rangers, christmas sweater, christmas sweaters, ugly, christmas, xmas, noel, yule, gift, gifts, present, presents, christmas gift, christmas gifts, christmas present, christmas presents, mom, moms, mum, mums, mother, mothers, parent, parents, adult kid, adult kids, adult child, family, families