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"If you can just help me through the tough times, I can handle it from there."
Tags:tough time, tough times, rough time, rough times, friend, friends, friendship, friendships, couple, couples, help, helping, mental health, mental health problems, mental health issues, mental health disorder, office worker, office workers, corporate talk, corporate speak, hard time, hard times, work load, office jargon, jargon asking for help, sharing the load, confident, confidence, determined, determination, modern life, modern times, modern attitudes
"O.K. Will somebody please bring me up to date?"
Tags:boardroom, boardrooms, meeting, meetings, board meeting, board meetings, business meeting, business meetings, office jargon, business jargon, jargon, buzzword, buzzwords, office phrase, office phrases, business phrases, business phrase, out of date, behind the times, colonial, colonial style, colonial styles, american history, colonial america, eighteenth century, eighteenth century, 1700s
Does your accountant speak your language?
'Among my many talents, not shown on my resume, is that I can say 'multivarient transformative interactive analytical heterogenacity in management leadership' three times fast.'
'Take this mission statement back and rewrite it. More mumbo and less jumbo.'
"I feel like pushing the envelope this morning, honey, starting with a little grape jelly for that bran muffin."
Tags:jargon, jargons, office jargon, businessjargon, slang, slangs, lingo, cliche, cliches, clichés, cliché, dining, fine dining, breakfast, breakfast food, breakfasts, marriage, married, married life, husbands, husband, husbands and wives, wife, wives, jelly, modern life, suburban, suburban life, suburbia, modernity, foodie, foodies, treat, treat yourself, treat yoself, treats, treating
"It's a new target to target a time to reduce targets so that we'll be less target driven!"
"So from the top. If they need urgent help it's form AC/765c, criticl interventions are CV/U657's and..."
Apprenticeships: "Stacking the shelves and making the tea!"
"HR would likes us to remove any reference to 'compassion' from the job description and replace it with 'a qualification in client facing communication and empathy management skills'!"
"There have been a few changes while you were on holiday!"
"Our private sector colleagues aren't keen on any association with 'death' so we'll be referring to patients choosing an 'alternative non-living lifestyle option' in future!"
"'Autonomy' is the new BUZZ word! We have to unleash our staff. Professionals like you need to be free to use your own judgement, manage your own workloads...use your initiative."
'I don't want to be rushed into a reply...I'd like to a look a drawing up a 'cost benefit' forecast. A S.W.O.T. analysis would be agood idea and maybe some sort of preliminary action plan!'
'Worst case of buzzword overdose I've ever seen!'
'I won't say you're fired. Let's just say maintaining your employment status is not consistent with our long-term institutional objectives.'
Think outside the box!
"You might call it a coup d'etat Mr President, but I like to think of it as 'Change Management'."
Tags:coup, coup d’état, change management, corporate culture, corporate jargon, office jargon, buzz words, buzz word, redundancy, redundant, sacking, laying off, staff cuts, job cuts, restructuring, restructure, military coup, coup, coups, revolutions, hostile takeover, hostile takeovers, new speak, president, dictator, junta, revolution, revolutionary
'Do we push the envelope on even numbered days and think outside the box on odd or vice versa?'
"I propose the next person who says 'it is what it is,' we beat the living hell out of him."
"We have a really bad case of spotted groupthink."
"Yo, Jim! Got an important update here. Mind if I come in and download on you?"
'Your memo is filled with mumbo jumbo - I don't understand a word of it. Maybe you do have management potential, Harville.'
'And then the big bad wolf said, 'This, little piggy, is where the rubber meets the road.''
Blue Sky Thinking