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"Your call is important to us, just not as important as whatever else we're doing."
'Hello, how can I offend you?'
'You've reached neanderthal industries, inc. Do you wish to speak to the hunting or gathering division?'
'Sorry, I'll have to transfer you directly to the individual who can help you. Our runaround team just went to lunch.'
'It's a telemarketer...he says if you're not busy he can call you back when you are.'
Customer Services: Call Centre.
Nuisance Direct: 'No, we're not selling anything - we just like to piss you off.'
"Please go to voicemail...please go to voice...Oh Hi...so glad I caught you!"
COWS: Cow telesales
'You've been on hold for two days...hang up!'
'Has he been on the phone all morning? No, he stopped an hour ago to change ears.'
'I absolutely concur with your opinion: that I am an over scripted, brain dead moron, who is wasting your time!'
'My son, the telemarketer...'
Bob's decision to replace the sales team with hotcakes really paid off.
'What do you mean 'how much longer am I going to keep you on hold' - I called you!'