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"We are experiencing high call volume. Please do not hold."
"This conversation may be recorded for training purposes, depending on how well we confuse you."
Tags:training recording, training recordings, training tape, training tapes, call centre, call centres, call center, call centers, helpline, helplines, help-line, help-lines, help line, help lines, customer service, customer services, customer satisfaction, customer experience, training purpose, training purposes, customer experience, customer experiences
"Your call is important to us."
Tags:call line, call lines, call-line, call-lines, helpline, helplines, help-line, help-lines, skeleton, skeletons, bone, bones, corpse, police, policemen, policeman, detective, detectives, crimes, crime scene, crime scenes, customer service, customer services, call centre, call centres, call center, call centers, hold, put on hold, wait, patience, patient
Workaholic Hotline - 'Come on now, you can do it. Just put down those annual reports and slowly back away...'
'You've been friendly to a customer? You anwered his question competently and solved his problem?? Don't you dare to do that again, mister!!'
'The bull's still alive and well, Mr. Fillimond, unfortunately he's not grazing in your field.'
"Of course we have a sense of humor. Why else would we call this a help line?"
'If this a recording, go delete yourself. If this is a live person, drop dead!'
'Your call is important to us but so are our lattes. Stay on the line. We will be with you shortly.'
'She's serious about answering the phone by the third ring.'
Dyslexia help line - "The name's Kevin, K as in car, E as in Acacia, V as in Tulip....."
"This is your government. For complaints about the stock rates. Press 1. for complaints about economic policy. Press 2. for complaints about the weather. Press 3. for complaints about your relationship..."
"Narcissism hotline...how may you help me?"
'Hello?...Yes, you're through to the fertility help line.'
'Welcome to the OCD helpline. Please press '9' to continue. . . Press it again.'
'You are through to 24/7 support...our helpline times are between 8am and 7pm.'
'Federal Bureau of Technological Compliance - May I help you?'
'Federal Communications Commission - May I help you?'
'Hello, Tech Support?'
'You can't put me on hold - you're the speaking clock!'
'What's the number to ring to register my 'don't know' vote?'
'Hello,'Professionally Written Protest Chants'! What do you want?' 'Something short and catchy.' 'When do you want it?' 'NOW!'
"We apologize for the delay. Due to an unexpected volume of people falling for our scams, our wait time has increased. Press 1 if you think we're the IRS, press 2 if you think we're the police, press ..."