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"Why didn't my lawyer tell me about this?"
Because of his inability to adapt to an eternity of torment, Jake was eventually kicked out of hell.
"When given a choice, a lot of them prefer eternal torment over being stuck in a 9 to 5 job."
"Humans don't realize that it was us that invented the barbecue."
"We don't need toilet paper. We've got fat cats, speculators and politicians with loon tongues!"