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"And that's how Twitter almost crashed the Dow."
Tags:stock, stock price, stock prices, dow, dow jones, down jones industrial average, djia, investor, investors, stock, stocks, stockmarket, stockmarkets, scary story, scary stories, campfire, campfires, campfire story, campfire stories, hedge fund, hedge funds, storyteller, storytellers, storytelling, frighten, frightens, frightening, spook, spooks, spooky, spookiness, camp, camps, camping, crash, crashes, crashing, market crash, shortsell, short sell, shorting, short selling, correction, market correction, market corrections
Welcome to 'Should've, Would've, Could've', the investment hindsight show.
'Could we see some figures on that 'gob'?'
'Look! A buy signal.'
'My attorney will explain why calling it a 'bear market' makes me a victim of profiling.'
Bull and bear in boxing ring.
'Was it Nietzsche who said, whatever doesn't kill your portfolio makes it stronger?'
'A temporary solution would be to white out this part of the chart.'
Why there are financial planners.
'The bailouts worked, the stock market shot up to 15,000 and everyone was relieved.'
'...and then the DOW rallied six hundred points and the three bears felt like idiots...'
'The market is showing jitters today...'
'Stocks remained steady, due to weak production in the rumor mills today...'
'The Dow is going up, the Dow is going down, the Dow is...'
'...it's a spirited, yet lightly delicate little stock that shows signs of aging into exquisite maturity...'
'Don't worry, if your stocks should drop suddenly, we have a standby trauma team.'
'I've got a great system. I just pick the same stocks Ed does.'
'I just checked my portfolio and it's worth a small fortune. Unfortunately, I started with a large fortune.'
'The market was up today on rumors that the rumors were only rumors...'
'Think of it this way, without the help of a professional, it could have taken you twice as long to go broke.'
"Yes, the planet got destroyed. But for a beautiful moment in time we created a lot of value for shareholders."
Tags:shareholder, shareholders, stock, stockmarket, stockmarkets, stock market, stock markets, stockbroker, stockbrokers, priority, priorities, profit, profits, profit motive, profit motives, armageddon, apocalypse, post-apocalyptic, post-apocalypse, environmental destruction, catastrophe, catastrophes, extinction, human extinction, extinctions, value, bottom line, bottom lines, capitalist, capitalists, capitalism, late capitalism, nuclear fallout, fallout, environmentalism, environmentalist, environmentalists, pollution, polluter, polluters, campfire, campfires, camp fire, camp fires, camp fire story, camp fire stories, scary story, scary stories, environment, corporation, corporations, corporate greed
Stock market books.
'Stocks edged higher on news that predictions of armageddon are premature...'
Papa bear plays the stockmarket.
'The bull's still alive and well, Mr. Fillimond, unfortunately he's not grazing in your field.'