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Einstein discovers that time can stop completely.
Tags:einstein, time, nature of time, wait, waits, airport, airports, air travel, plane travel, plane travels, trolley, trolleys, theory of relativity, general theory of relativity, gate, gates, board, boards, boarding, long wait, long waits, stop, stops, stopping, time stopping, impatient, impatience, hurry, hurries, hurrying, hurry up, hurries up, airport terminal, airport terminals, frustration, frustrations, first world problem, first world problems
Tags:migrating, migration, migrations, tourist, tourists, holiday, holidays, vacation, vacations, bird, birds, migrating birds, bird migration, bird migrations, v formation, v formations, flying formation, flying formations, air travel, flying, plane travel, travelling abroad, traveling abroad, slip stream, slip streams
Stained Glass Airplane Window
Tags:monk, monks, church, churches, stained glass, stained glass windows, stained glass window, nervous flyer, nervous flyers, plane, planes, airplane, airplanes, aeroplane, aeroplane, plane travel, air travel, fear, scared, nervous, commercial airline, commercial airlines, monastery, monasteries, monastic living
Magician at the Airport
Tags:airport, airports, luggage, baggage, air travel, air travelling, air traveller, air travellers, plane travel, magician, magicians, magic trick, magic tricks, luggage collection, baggage collection, magicians apprentice, magician's apprentice, magicians assistant, magicians assistant, sawing someone in half, conveyor, conveyors, conveyor belt, conveyor belts, sawing a woman in half, passenger, passengers, commute, commuter, commuters, magic man, magic men
"No, we're good. This gentleman accidentally touched my breast and I accidentally broke his nose."
Tags:grope, gropes, groper, gropers, retaliate, retaliates, retaliating, retaliation, molest, molests, molesting, molester, molesters, molestation, punch, punches, punching, feminist, feminists, feminism, metoo, #metoo, accident, accidents, accidental, air travel, airplane, airplanes, plane, planes, plane travel, frequent flyer, frequent flyers, handsy, break his nose, breaks his nose, breaking his nose, broke his nose, fight back, fights back, fighting back
"There is no air conditioning in the luggage compartment so stand up straight and stop licking your nose!"
Tags:dog, dogs, puppy, puppies, pet, pets, pet dog, pet dogs, dog owner, dog owners, airtravel, air travel, planetravel, plane travel, flying, airplane travel, aeroplane travel, flying with pets, threat, threats, threatening, smuggle, smuggling, disguise, disguises, dressed up, dress up, dressed-up, dress-up
"Okay, I'll jump, but this is the last time I fly super economy class!"
Tags:economy, fly economy, flies economy, flying economy, skydive, skydives, skydiving, skydiver, skydivers, last class, economy class, economy classes, land, lands, landing, plane, planes, plane travel, frequent flyer, frequent flyers, jump, jumps, jumping, jump out, jumps out, parachute, parachutes
"O.K., you're good. Next!"
Tags:therapy, therapist, therapists, counselor, conselors, counseling, counsellor, counsellors, counselling, psychology, psychologist, psychologists, psychiatry, psychiatrist, psychiatrists, airport, airports, air travel, air travelling, security, plane travel, airport security, metal detectors, metal detectors, queue, queuing, wait in line, waiting in line, terrorists, terrorism, mental assessment, mental assessments
"Today's flight is overbooked. Is there someone who would accept a free travel voucher in return for teaching us how to correctly book a flight?"
Tags:overbooked, overbooking, overbookings, overbook, overbooks, flight, flights, airline, airlines, plane travel, frequent flyer, frequent flyers, fly, flies, flying, airport, airports, plane travel, greed, greedy, profit, profits, profit motive, profit motives, train, trains, training, hassle, hassles, hassling, booking, bookings, reservation, reservations, voucher, vouchers, travel voucher, travel vouchers
"At this time I'd like to welcome our gold-medallion passengers on board."
"I hope you don't mind changing planes in midair."
"I think this whole 'allowing dogs on airplanes' situation is getting a little out of control!"
"How did you even do that?!"
Tags:seatbelt, seatbelts, seat belt, seat belts, safety belt, safety belts, airline, airlines, aeroplane, aeroplanes, plane, planes, plane travel, plane travels, airplane, airplanes, safety lecture, safety lectures, flight attendant, flight attendants, stewardess, stewardesses, tangled, entangled, tangled up, entangle, entangles, tangle, tangles
"Flight 22 to J.F.K. Now boarding... Gate 46."
Tags:desert, deserts, stranded, abandon, abandoned, lost, lost in the desert, airport, airports, airport announcement, airport announcement, crawl, crawling, flight, flights, missed flight, missed flights, boarding, boarding gate, boarding gates, air travel, plane travel, late, lateness, wrong priorities, bad priorities, airplane, airplanes, aeroplane, aeroplanes
"I just flew in from the Coast. Boy, are my references tired."
Tags:plane travel, air travel, jetlag, jetlagged, regional, west, the west, west coast, the west coast, time delay, time difference, time differences, tired, comedian, comedians, stand up comedy, stand up, stand ups, stand up comic, stand up comics, stand up comedian, stand up comedians, stand-up comedy, stand-up comedian, stand-up comedians, bad joke, bad jokes, out of date, out of touch, behind the times, irrelevant
Revealing Airport Security
Tags:airport, airports, airport security, airport security guard, airport security guards, security guard, security guards, x ray, x ray machine, x ray machines, x-ray, x-ray machine, x-ray machines, body scan, full body scan, body scans, full body scans, scanner, scanners, embarrassment, embarrassed, humiliation, humiliated, public humiliation, publicly humiliated, teddy bear, teddy bears, air travel, plane travel, flying, passenger, passengers
"Quit kicking our seat!"
Tags:airplane, airplanes, aeroplane, aeroplanes, plane, planes, passenger, passengers, airline, airlines, seat, seats, kid, kids, inconsiderate, inconsiderateness, rude, rudeness, airline travel, plane travel, bad manners, travel etiquette, plane etiquette, airplane etiquette, aeroplane etiquette, monster, monsters, temper, tempers
"Flight time is approximately 3 seconds and - I won't lie to you folks - it's a bit choppy up there."
Tags:airplane, airplanes, paper plane, paper planes, paper airplane, paper airplanes, aeroplane, aeroplanes, plane travel, pilot, pilots, takeoff, taking off, rough takeoff, rough takeoffs, turbulent, turbulence, frequent flyer, frequent flyers, airport, airports, announcement, announcements, cockpit, cockpits
Tags:airplane, airplanes, aeroplane, aeroplanes, jet, jets, air travel, plane travel, fly, flying, seatbelt, seatbelts, safety, health and safety, flight safety, airplane seatbelt, airplane seatbelts, aeroplane seatbelt, aeroplane seatbelts, safety demonstration, obvious, ignore, ignoring, ignorant, ignorance, naive, uninformed, disinterested, disinterest, state the obvious, safety demonstration, safety demo
"I'm glad they had these nice robes for us, because my luggage didn't make it."
Tags:air travel, plane travel, airline travel, plane, planes, airline, airlines, airport, airports, airplane, airplanes, aeroplane, aeroplanes, luggage, baggage, baggage claim, luggage claim, lost luggage, lost baggage, optimism, glass half full, angel, angels, heaven, dying, death, plane crash, plane crashes, afterlife, afterlives, after-life, after-lives
Pioneers Of AviationOctober 21, 1913 Major C. Peter Barry Breaks The Scarf Barrier
Tags:aviation, plane, planes, airplane, airplanes, aeroplane, aeroplanes, sound barrier, the sound barrier, pilots, pilots, aircraft pilot, aircraft pilots, record, records, world record, world records, pioneer, pioneers, pioneering, pioneers of aviation, scarf, scarves, scarfs, mens fashion, men's fashion, flying scarf, flying scarves, aeronautics, air travel, plane travel, making history
"O.K., Mom, I'm off the plane. I'll call you when I check into the hotel, and when I check out of the hotel, when I get on the plane home, and when I get off the plane home, and I'll call you when I'm in the driveway – glad you're not worrying."
Tags:worry, worries, worrying, worrier, worriers, mom, moms, mum, mums, mother, mothers, parent, parents, parenting, fuss, fusses, fussing, maternal, call, calls, calling, check in, checks in, checking in, airport, airports, plane travel, coddle, coddles, coddling, plane, planes, aeroplane, aeroplanes, anxiety, anxieties, anxious
"Whether I have five passengers or five hundred, I try to make the same inane announcements."
Tags:plane, planes, airplane, airplanes, aeroplane, aeroplanes, pilot, pilots, commercial airline, commercial airlines, air travel, plane travel, announcement, announcements, loudspeaker, loudspeakers, loud speak, loud speakers, lazy, laziness, boring, plane announcement, plane announcements, passenger announcement, passenger announcements, cockpit, cockpits, inane, apathy, apathetic, disinterest, disinterested
Tags:baggage claim, baggage claims, baggage reclaim, baggage reclaims, luggage, luggage collection, baggage collection, reunion, reunions, reunited, materialism, materialistic, materializm, materialist, couple, couples, love, in love, lonely, loneliness, relief, relieved, waiting, patience, patient, greeting, greetings, air travel, flying, flyer, flyers, plane travel, airplane travel, airport, airports, aeroplane travel
"Don't you dare touch my radio settings."
Tags:pilot, pilots, co-pilot, co-pilots, airplane, airplanes, aeroplane, aeroplanes, plane, planes, plane travel, plane captain, plane captains, radio setting, radio settings, driver, drivers, long-distance drive, long-distance drives, autopilot, preference, preferences, strong preference, strong preferences