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Man is dumber because of his smartwatch.
'I've analyzed, condensed and simplified the data...it was a good quarter.'
'We're beginning to see some positive patters in the emerging data.'
"Well, we're waiting. See any patterns emerging?"
Tags:data analysis, data, analysis, analytics, businessmen, businessman, boardroom, boardrooms, board, boards, exec, execs, executive, executives, pattern, patterns, emerging pattern, emerging patterns, data analyst, data analysts, business meeting, business meetings, quarterly report, quarterly reports, profit, profits, graph, graphs, chart, charts, performance, review, reviews, sales report, sales reports, profit report, profit reports
Which one of you is working on the real data and which one of you is working on the sanitized data?"
Tags:businessman, businessmen, exec, execs, executive, executives, career, careers, big business, corporate, corporation, corporations, day job, offices, office job, office drone, office drones, cubicles, cubicle, offices, office building, office ecology, office politics, modern life, modern world, working life, working world, desk job, desk jockey, data, sanitized, sanitised, scrub, scrubbed, accounts, accounting, data analysis, analysis, shock, shocking, whistleblower, whistle-blower, whistle blower, fraud, fraudulent, bad, bad sign, bad signs, visual gag
"I used to be a hunter, I was just transferred to accounts payable."
Tags:primitive man, primitive men, stone age, stone ages, hunter, hunters, job, jobs, job transfer, job transfers, departmental transfers, departmental transfer, unhappy, reminisce, reminiscing, accounts, accountant, accountants, accounts payable, business, businesses, ap, supplier, suppliers, debt, debts, miserable, misery, ap department, accounts payable department, analyst, analyses, analysts, analysis, data, data analysis, datum, data analyses
"We should do this more often. What if we broke the quarters down into eighths?"
Tags:office, offices, corporate, corporation, corporations, corporate meeting, corporate meetings, quarterly report, quarterly reports, enjoy, enjoying, enjoyed, taking lightly, take lightly, meeting, meetings, relax, relaxed, profit, business, smooth sailing ship, quarters, report, reports, data analysis, data analyses, analyst, analysts, analyses, analysis, business analyst, business analysts, lazy, lethargic, loss
"We can see that current trends will inevitably lead to a situation in which the sky will fall."
Tags:chicken licken, the sky is falling, data, data analysis, evidence, proof, prediction, predictions, scientific prediction, climate change, stats, statistics, graph, graphs, business meeting, business meetings, farm animal, farm animals, recession, the recession, apocalypse, the apocalypse, end of days, the end of days, end of the world, the end of the world, chicken little, henny penny
Macho talk from down in accounting.
"We ran the big data through graphic analysis. That's when we realised that the whole world had been trolling us."
This is Mr Smith from Big Data Mining. He says he's found an insight.
"So, how can we explain this dip in productivity which seems to happen every Wednesday?"
Tags:troubleshooters, troubleshooters, data analyst, data analysts, data analysis, productivity level, productivity levels, work ethic, employee, employees, employer, employers, hangover, hangovers, hungover, problem solvers, crisis meeting, boss, employer, employers, meeting room, line graph, presentation, employee health
"We've got the numbers...now we just need to work out what order to put them in!"
Department of Pure Speculation.
'I went through the data and found an 11.7% increase in the discretionary spending portion of our family budget, so I see no reason not to raise my allowance.'
Tags:discretionary spending, increased spending, disposable income, data, analytics, data analysis, big-data, big data, data science, data scientists, computers, technology, tech, kids, technologically aware, statistical analysis, finances, data source, data sources, undermining, undermine, whizz kid, whizz-kid, genius, parents, family, families, children, allowance, money, cash, work, pocket-money, pocket money
"I feel that showing my family data reveals more than a mere photograph can convey."
'I'm graphing the likelihood of me keeping this New Year's resolutions based on all of my previous resolutions. It doesn't look good for me.'
Tags:data analyst, data analysts, data analysis, new year, new years, new year's resolution, new year's resolutions, new years resolution, new years resolutions, goal, goals, ambition, ambitions, forecast, forecasts, prediction, predictions, behaviourial patterns, behavioral patterns, fresh start, fresh starts
"I did a quick search for my lost requirements documents and I found them right away, but how do I get rid of the ads now?"
Tags:online advertising, online advertisements, online ads, internet ads, data, data collection, data privacy, big data, big-data, business requirements, data requirements, business intelligence, office workers, computers, internet, data analytics, data analysis, data analysts, requirements document, browser data, browser history, browser cache, browser cookies, data cookies, internet cookies
"Now, in order to view this quarter's data correctly, you'll need to put on these rose-tinted glasses in front of you."
Tags:sales chart, sales charts, sales graph, sales graphs, sales report, sales reports, profit, profits, profit chart, profit charts, quarterly report, quarterly reports, rose-tinted glasses, rose tinted glasses, data, data analysis, data analyst, data analysts, economic downturn, economic downturns
"Maybe we're taking the wrong approach to traffic data gathering..."
Had volumes of data at my fingertips and still didn't see this one coming.
'I think we could understand this better if it were a pie chart.'
'Okay, here's an abandoned storage locker with some random data that may or may not be useful. We'll start the bidding at $50...'
Man and woman speaking in different data chart languages.
Tags:data analysis, data analyst, data analysts, data chart, data charts, data graph, data graphs, business analysis, business analyst, business analysts, businessmen, businessman, businesswomen, businesswoman, business jargon, data jargon, analytics, communication, communications, graph, graphs, chart, charts
"We have lots of information technology. We just don't have any information."