Search by Search ID or Tag or use the Advanced Search
"Everything I eat goes straight to my ass."
"Judy Solomon gained nine pounds over the weekend because she ate trayf!"
Tags:diet, diets, dieting, gaining weight, putting on weight, fear, fears, worse fears, kosher, not kosher, non-kosher, trayf, treif, yiddish word, yiddish words, anchor desk, anchorman, anchormen, news, the news, news reader, newsreader, news commentator, news commentators, tv news, television news, news program, news programs, news programme, news programmes, priorities, wrong priorities, bad priorities, jewish, judaism
Santa Claus on the scales
"You don't get water retention, dear. You get pizza retention."
Tags:bloating, bloated, bloat, water retention, fluid retention, pizza, pizza, weight gain, weightloss, putting on weight, put on weight, diet, diets, unhealthy diet, unhealthy diets, junk food, couch potato, couch potatoes, slob, slobs, couple, couples, partner, partners, home truths, honest truth, the truth hurts, blunt, to the point
"Have you ever wondered why we're carbo-loading when we don't run marathons?"
Tags:animal, animals, talking animal, talking animals, pig, pigs, hog, hogs, livestock, farm, farms, farmer, farmers, eating, diet, diets, eating habits, dietary habits, carbo-loading, carb-loading, carbohydrates, eating carbs, carbs, gaining weight, putting on weight, fattening, fat, heath, fitness, marathon, marathons, marathon runner, marathon runners, runner, runners, meat, pork
Santa eats too many mince pies
"Whatever doesn't kill me makes me gain weight."
Tags:woman, women, body image, body weight, self-esteem, self-confidence, self-respect, mental health, weight, gain weight, gaining weight, putting on weight, weight gain, kill, diet, diets, dieting, health, unhealthy, healthy, eating, food, snacking, beauty, stereotype, stereotypes, expression, expressions, aphorism, aphorisms, word play, wordplay
"I had an unexpected glimpse of myself in a mirror today. I need a new briefcase."
Tags:mirror, mirrors, appearance, appearances, looking bad, tatty, unkempt, messy, bald, balding, balding man, fat, fat man, fat men, weight gain, put on weight, putting on weight, old clothes, tatty clothes, tatty suit, tatty suits, least of your worries, least of your problems, lipstick on a pig, paper over the cracks, papering over the cracks
Measuring Height and Weight.
'Sidney, what's happened to you? You've become obese!'
"Look, honey, the glass slipper still fits."
Tags:cinderella, brothers grimm, fairytale, fairytales, fairy tale, fairy tales, story, stories, children's story, children's stories, glass slipper, glass slippers, glass shoe, glass shoes, royal, royalty, king, kings, queen, queens, monarch, monarchs, sovereign, sovereigns, ruler, rulers, throne, thrones, fit, fits, still fits, old clothes, old clothing, clothing, clothes, vanity, vain, ego, self-esteem, fashion, shoes, shoe, growing old, middle age, middle-age, gaining weight, putting on weight, showing-off, show-off, brag, bragging, insecure, small feet, body image, body changes, physical appearance, personal appearance, beauty, fishing for compliments, woman, women, females, stereotype, stereotypes
'No, it's not water. You seem to be retaining food.'
'I think my gastric band's too tight.'
"Developing a layer of insulating fat isn't as easy as it sounds."
"The weight you put on in 1987 has continued to increase and grow. That's the miracle of compound fat."
'I think my gastric band's too tight.'
"See? The good still outweighs the bad."
'...is really all the exercise I need to lose weight.'
Over eating...don't do it.
'Looks like somebody needs to lay off of the authentic angel food cake!'
"That's not fat- that's gristle!"
'Hundreds of years of medical progress, and all you can tell me to do is eat less?'
Take With Food.
'That does it Harold, you're going on a diet!'