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"Just how slightly imperfect are they?"
Tags:shop, shops, shopping, shopper, shoppers, store, stores, hosiery, hosiery store, sales assistant, shop assistant, retail assistant, shop keeper, store keeper, sales assistants, shop assistants, retail assistants, shop keepers, store keepers, retail, vintage hosiery store, bargain, hunting for a bargain, looking for a bargain, bargain hunter, thrifty, 1940s high society, 1940s, vintage, vintage cartoon, imperfect, money off, cheap, cheaper
"By the authority vested in me by Bloomingdale's, how may I help you?"
Tags:shopping, shop, shops, store, department store, stores, designer clothes, designer clothing, designers, upmarket shop, upmarket store, sales assistant, sales assistants, sales, selling, authority, authorities, authority vested in me, bloomingdales, fancy department store, upstart, arrogant, arrogance
'Not sure if that comes in your size. Let's see if I can find someone who cares.'
"While we do appreciate your diligence... It's not the store's policy to shoot shoplifters!"
Tags:security, security guard, security guards, shoplifters, shoplifting, shot, shoplifter, store, manager, diligence, store policy, security, guard, shoots, shoplifter, steal, stealing, police, police brutality, policeman, cop, mall cop, manager, clerk, sales assistant, rob, gun, shoot, shooting, too far, shopping centre, center, mall
'I think we should have a word with Bob about his sales technique.'
Flat pack sales assistant
'The price represents a 50% reduction on those costing twice as much...'
"We pride ourselves on having an open HONEST relationship with out customers...and I'm afraid you're to old and fat for any of our dresses!"
Tags:shop, shops, shopper, shoppers, shopping, shopaholic, shopaholics, designer clothes, designer clothing, designer dress, designer dresses, designer, designers, fashions, fashionable, fashion store, fashion stores, customer service, customer services, salesmen, salesman, salesgirl, salesgirls, saleswoman, saleswomen, sales assistant, sales assistants
'Do you have any of that after shave that makes me look like Brad Pitt?'
Sign reads: Customer service - Ring bell to be noticed.
"Now, this little scarf is just to give you that completely dressed feeling."
Tags:fitting room, fitting rooms, changing room, changing rooms, clothes shop, clothes shops, clothes store, clothes stores, dress shop, dress shops, dress store, dress stores, shopping, shopper, shop assistant, shop assistants, retail assistant, retail assistants, sales assistant, sales assistants, hard sell, sales techniques, selling, sales, fashion, fashions, 1940s fashion, vintage fashion, 1940 clothes, vintage clothes, high society, 1940s high society, vintage, 1940s
'He certainly knows how to make a customer feel welcome.'
'It's made out of solid wood and it sleeps eight.'
'Why is so much easy listening so difficult to listen to?'
"You don't think rum-filled centers would give his officers the wrong impression?"
Tags:chocolates, chocolate, gift, gifts, present, presents, buying a gift, buying a present, department store, department stores, shop assistant, shop assistants, sales assistant, sales assistants, soldier, soldiers, ww2 soldier, wwii soldiers, ww2 soldiers, wwii soldiers, wrong impression, bad impression, good impression, new recruit, new recruits, world war two, world war ii, ww2, wwii, vintage, 1940s, mum, mums, mother, mothers, mom, moms, worried mother, worried mothers
"I'm thinking something in a cheddar."
'Absolutely - it does make you look thinner!'
"Listen to the customers more carefully Tracey. Mr Jones has a pain in the backside, he didn't say you were one."
Ventriloquist with big hands worries dummy.
'Why on earth did you ask the customer if there was anything else you could do for him??!'
'If you've got a complaint, please press 1. If we can help you to find something to complain about, please press 2.'
'...and a bag to put it in?'
'All of our man bras are designed with the end user in mind and snap easily in the front.'
'Phew! - Thank goodness today is over. Now we can take off these ridiculous glasses.'