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"It's a check for a hundred thousand dollars. Do you like it?"
Tags:christmas, christmas day, x-mas, christmas tree, christmas trees, xmas tree, xmas trees, christmas present, christmas presents, husband, husbands, unwrap, unwraps, unwrapping, wife, wives, check, checks, hundred thousand dollars, money, forgot, forget, forgetting, like, likes, happy, thoughtless, thoughtful, shared bank, shared banks
"Things are crazy right now. Let me get back to you after the holidays."
Tags:christmas, christmas day, hectic, schedule, schedules, scheduling, holiday stress, overworked, christmas shopping, gift, gifts, present, presents, stressful, stress, stresses, stressor, stressors, xmas, x-mas, anxiety, anxieties, anxious, anxiousness, get back to you, call back, calling back, phone call, phone calls, busy, busy schedule, busy schedules, child, children, lack of perspective
Tags:horror, fantasy, sci-fi, science-fiction, science fiction, robot, robots, killer robot, killer robots, kill, killer, killers, robot kit, robot kits, toy, toys, christmas, christmas day, xmas, yule, noel, gift, gifts, present, presents, kid, kids, child, children, dangerous, risky, hazardous, deadly, technology, modern life, oblivious parent, oblivious parents, parent, parents, parenting
"If they fit, we can return them."
Tags:christmas, xmas, noel, yule, christmas day, gift, gifts, present, presents, opening gifts, opening presents, fashion, clothes, clothing, men's clothing, men's clothes, menswear, pants, trousers, baggy, loose fitting, style, trend, trends, fad, fads, trendy, in-style, boys clothes, boys clothing, boy, boys, teen, teens, teenager, fit, ill-fitting, return, returning, returns, exchange, exchanges, exchanging, refund, refunding, refunds, retail, consumerism
"It's Christmas, Stephen. Did you remember to tip the children?"
Tags:tip, tips, tipper, tippers, tipping, tipped, christmas, xmas, christmases, festive period, festive season, christmas day, xmas day, kid, kids, family life, family-life, cold, coldness, unemotional, emotionally distance, emotionally distant, parenting, parent, parents, gift, gifts, present, presents, family
'This is going to be a long night.'
Tags:santa, santa claus, reindeer, reindeers, sleigh, december 25th, christmas day, christmas eve, presents, present, gift, gifts, deliver, delivery, delivers, delivered, fly, flies, flied, flying, fall, fallen, fell, falls, trip, tripped, trips, long night, clumsy, christmas lights, the flying mccoys, flying mccoys
"Sweetheart, perhaps we shouldn't exchange gifts this year."
Tags:holiday, holidays, christmas, christmases, marriage, married, marry, marries, gift, gifts, present, presents, exchange, exchanging, season, seasons, tat, tats, bric a brac, bric-a-brac, pointless, overflow, overflowing, overloaded, saturated, full, repetitive, yearly, traditions, traditions, christmas day, tacky, hoarder, hoarders, hoarding, hoard, hoards
"When I was a boy, Santa would put coal in our socks if we were bad. Now I see he's using plastic explosives!"
The First Christmas
"We all chipped in together."
Tags:jesus, christmas, christmas day, birth, born, newborn, newborns, nativity, nativities, wisemen, three wisemen, wiseman, three kings, the three kings, gift, gifts, one gift, big gift, chip in, chipped in, chipping in, present, presents, gold, frankinsense, myrrh, luke, matthew, christianity, bible, split, splits, splitting, split the cost
Advent calendar for lazy people
Helen was determined to get rid of her leftovers.
"We got you a dreidel."
Tags:dreidel, dreidels, hanukkah, chanukah, nativity, nativity scene, jewish, jewish kid, jewish kids, jealous, christmas, manger, mangers, judaism, christmas season, holiday season, manger, mangers, christmas day, cold comfort, wise men, wise man, gift, gifts, christmas gift, christmas gifts, present, presents, christmas, shpasik, jtoons
'and I suppose you'll be working again this Christmas?'
"C'mon, get up...it's Christmas! Let's go! There's presents to open!"
Tags:christmas, open presents, opens presents, opening presents, christmas day, xmas, x-mas, open present, opening presents, overeager, young child, young children, wake up, wakes up, waking up, christmas morning, early morning, early mornings, wake-up call, wake-up calls, leap, leaps, leaping, jump, jumps, jumping
"We're spending Christmas with our grandparents in the Land of Forced Smiles."
Tags:kid, kids, child, children, childhood, bad childhood, christmas, xmas, christmas holiday, christmas holidays, christmas vacation, christmas vacations, christmas day, christmas break, christmas breaks, relatives, relations, grandparent, grandparents, grandma, grandmas, grandmothers, grandpa, grandpas, grandfather, grandfathers, nan, nans, pop, pops, in-law, in-laws, mother-in-law, father-in-laws, forced smile, forced smiles, smile, smiles, fake smile, fake smiles, forced, land of, family, families, family issues, family problems, bad christmas, miserable christmas, unhappy christmas, spending time with family, spending time with relatives, going to the grandparent's, visiting grandparents
"Sorry I'm late. We were delayed when Rudolph caught a drone in his antlers."
Tags:santa, santa claus, father christmas, christmas, santas sleigh, santas reindeer, rudolph, rudolph the rednosed reindeer, drone, drones, late, running late, lateness, christmas stockings, christmas stocking, christmas present, christmas presents, family, families, child, children, christmas eve, christmas day
"You smell like a chimney."
'This year, I thought I'd try a self-basting turkey!'
'For some reason, he likes to moon Cleveland!'
"Who tipped off the turkey?"
A vampire wakes up to find a bat in his stocking.
Tags:christmas morning, christmas mornings, christmas day, anticipate, anticipates, anticipating, anticipation, merry christmas, happy christmas, vampire, vampires, perspective, perspectives, perspective shift, stocking, stockings, hung by the chimney, wake up, wakes up, waking up, gift, gifts, present, presents
Angry Santa Letter
Tags:santa, santa claus, father hrismas, christmas eve, note, notes, letter, letters, deliver, delivers, delivering, present, presents, christmas day, x-mas day, snack, snacks, cookie, cookies, milk, almond, almond milk, gluten free, gluten-free, gluten free cookie, gluten free cookies, fat shame, fat shames, smug, anger, angry, relax, relaxed, replace, healthy, alternative, healthy alternative, healthy alternatives
"I don't know WHY she's so angry. She asked for a 'unique' gift and you don't get any more 'unique' than the gift of working over Christmas."
Tags:christmas gift, christmas gifts, christmas present, christmas presents, xmas gift, xmas gifts, xmas present, xmas presents, xmas, christmas, xmases, christmases, festive period, festive season, overtime, working christmas, christmas day, xmas day, working overtime, boss, bosses, manager, managers, office politics, unique, uniqueness