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'DO you remember when volunteering was just about trying to help people?'
'Well I could help with 'A bit of filing and general help around the office' or you MIGHT like to benefit from my 25 years experience in software development and capital infrastructure investment experience.'
'While they're still enthusiastic do you think we could get them to take on climate change and the war on drugs as well?'
"I'm thinking of getting out of medicine completely… or volunteering in a third world country to do my liposuction."
'We can offer Volunteers a range of experiences including exhaustion, emotional overload, lack of support and stark terror.'
"Good news! We've been selected as a potential burial site for nuclear waste."
Tags:nuke, nukes, nuclear waste, hell, hades, devil, devils, satan, satanic, burial, burials, burial site, burial sites, depletion, uranium, radioactive, radioactive waste, nimby, nimbys, not in my backyard, award, awards, awarded, volunteer, volunteers, volunteering, ethics, ethical issue, ethical issues
Big Society in hospitals
'When you've finished feeding your mum there's a triple by-pass in theatre we could use a hand with!'
We can offer volunteers a range of experiences including exhaustion,emotional overload,lack of support and stark terror.
"Isn't this nice? You're in the Air corps and I'm a volunteer airplane spotter."
Tags:air corp, air corps, pilot, pilots, air force, airforce, air-force, airplane spotter, airplane spotters, volunteer, volunteers, flirtation, flirtations, flirt, flirts, love life, pickup, pickups, pick-up, pick-ups, pick up, pick ups, party, parties, vintage, world war ii, come on, come ons, come-on, come-ons, sexually harass, sexually harasses, chat up, chat-up, chat-ups, chatting up, chatup, chatups, chat ups
Jesus Feeds the 5K
Tags:communion, jesus, jesus christ, the end is nigh, the end is near, religion, religions, religious, christian, christians, christianity, run, runner, runners, running, jog, jogging, jogger, joggers, refreshment, refreshments, volunteer, volunteers, wine, bread, marathon, marathons, race, races, racing
"Who wants to help me with the fireworks this year?"
Tags:olde, ye olde, pirate, pirates, yarr, flintlock, flintlocke, crew, crews, pirate ship, pirate ships, captain, capn, cap'n, amputate, amputated, amputations, firework, fireworks, explosive, explosives, volunteer, volunteers, irony, ironic, not again, hook, hooks, peg leg, wooden leg, skull and crossbones, danger, dangers, dangerous, limb, limbs, ominous, ominous sign, ominous signs
The Voluntary Sector takes a beating
'Human clinical trials start in six months. Sooner if we run out of mice.'
DOH to judge practices on 'voluntary' quality scheme.
'Amazing...they seem to have established the community support mechanisms inherent in the 'Big Society; concept without a defined policy infrastructure to guide them.'
'We're trying new ways of getting the Big Society concept across.'
'They're extinct now but when I was young you'd find these everywhere...let's go to the next gallery they've got a 'bobby on the bear' and a 'postman' there.'
'I'm afraid we can't PAY you but would you accept endless meaningless platitudes about your valuable contribution to the decision making process instead?'
'We want communities to 'own' the big societies...we want you to feel it belongs to you...'
'So then I thought, what's the idea job for a gentleman with my years of experience, wisdom and a desire to help others.'
"And this dance represents our latest volunteer recruitment drive..." "I never thought I'd miss Powerpoint."
'Volunteer?! I thought you said come over and bring the beer!'
"If we're to make a life together, you have to accept that I'm a volunteer fireman and have to be ready to picnic at a moment's notice."
Tags:make a life, makes a life, making a life, build a life, builds a life, building a life, volunteer, volunteers, volunteering, volunteer fireman, fireman, firemen, danger, dangers, dangerous, dangerous job, dangerous jobs, picnic, picnics, picnicking, dramatic, exaggerate, exaggerates, exaggeration, exaggerations, exaggerating, husband, husbands, wife, wives, rescue, rescues, rescuing, rescuer, rescuers
'Raise your right hand if you wish to help us with our enquiries... SPLENDID!'