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"You've just proven that your job doesn't exist."

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academic, academics, academia, job, jobs, existence, scientific proof, scientific proofs, scientist, scientists, intellectual, intellectuals, formula, formulas, equation, equations, lab, labs, genius, geniuses, expendable, dispensable, proof, proofsBack to top

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'I proved that when you start to count your blessings, you find that they're infinite.'

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mathematician, mathematicians, blessing, blessings, count your blessings, infinite, proof, prove, equation, equations, formula, formulas, formulae, scientist, scientists, sum, sums, complex, theory, theories, thesis, proofs, good luck, mathematicsA man drinks a formula and becomes a well-dressed middle-aged man.

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dress up, dresses up, dressing up, transform, transforms, transformation, transformation, chemist, chemists, chemistry, well-dressed, gentleman, gentlemen, age, ages, age gracefully, ages gracefully, formula, formulas, transition, transitions, transitioning, magic formula, magic formulas, dress up, dresses up, dressing up, suit, suits, formal wear, formal suit, formal suits, grow up, grows up, growing up, slovenly"All in all, I'd say it's a pretty convincing explication of chaos theory."

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science, scientific, scientists, scientist, maths, math, mathematics, mathematical, mathematically, chaotic, chaos, chaos theory, string theory, speculative, speculative science, theory, theoretical, theoretical, chalkboard, drawing board, drawingboard, explanatory, explanation, explanations, explication, explications, formula, formulas, psychedelic, psychedelics, art, arts, devolved, devolve, devolutionBack to top

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'This isn't a BREAKTHROUGH, Colbert! This is a CIRCULAR REASONING! All you've done here is re-state our original objective.'

Not-particularly-easy-listening radio.

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easy listening, radio, radios, radio station, radio stations, math, maths, mathematics, mathematical formula, mathematical formulae, mathematical formulas, formula, formulas, learn, learns, learning, educational, math instructor, math instructors, math teacher, math teachers, genre, genres, music genre, music genresBack to top

"But enough about this for a while, gentlemen. Let's talk about real estate."

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Lady cleaning hypothesis off blackboard.

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mathematics, mathematician, math, maths, mathematics, science, scientist, scientists, formula, formulas, equation, equations, math, maths teacher, professor, professors, sum, sums, number, numbers, clean, cleaned, cleaning"Say - here's a way to fool all of the people all of the time."

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fool, fools, fooling, lincoln, abraham lincoln, abe lincoln, quote, quotes, quotation, quotations, famous phrase, famous phrases, phrase, phrases, fool all the people, fooling all the people, foolish, foolishness, president, presidents, american president, american presidents, formula, formulas, formulae, secret, secrets"Be still! There's a fine line between art and science."

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artist, artists, artwork, artworks, scientist, scientists, fine line, portrait, portraits, artist model, artist models, painter, painters, painting, model, models, portraiture, formula, formulas, equation, equations, scientific breakthrough, scientific breakthroughs, muse, muses, inspiration, inspirations"Look, forget about all the formulas. Basically you want to increase your income, and decrease your paper trail."

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paper trail, paper trails, paper-trail, paper-trails, economics 101, economics, economic policy, economic policies, homework, schoolwork, school assignment, homework assignment, income, incomes, formula, formulas, equation, equations, finance, finances, financial, financials, homework help, role model, role models, dad, dads, role-model, role-models, bad, math homework, maths homework, unethical behaviour, unethical behavior, greed, greedy, greedinessProgress: The amount of effort expended multiplied by the square of the ratio of scientists to managers: P=E X (S/M)2.

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"Pi what squared? Long John, you should be able to get this."

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myth, myths, legend, legends, pirate, pirates, long john silver, treasure island, literature, robert louis stevenson, book, books, fictional character, fictional characters, arr, math, maths, mathematics, area of a circle, pi, π, radius, area, circle, circles, equation, equations, formula, formulas, wordplay, word play, play on words, cliche, cliches, stereotype, stereotypes, stereotyping, education, school, schools, schooling, teacher, teachers, student, students, class, classes, classroom, classrooms, math teacher, math teachers, math class, math classesBack to top

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'In other words, statistics prove that statisticians aren't always right.'

'Hope you like it. I put a LOT of thought into it.'

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smart, thought, thoughts, gifts, geniuses, scientists, equation, equations, gift, genius, mensa, high-iq, brilliant, scientist, mathematician, quantum physics, brainiac, formula, formulas, math, calk board, masters, valentines day, anniversary, christmas, birthday giftBack to top