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"You look great but the information from your health monitor is concerning me."
'Great news. There's a new, highly effective app for what you've got.'
"I did before my blood sugars got whacky and it started sending me thumbs down emojis..."
"Too much information."
"I wanted crisps but this assessed my body mass index and gave me an apple ..."
"I WAS feeling fine but then the health app on my watch said I might be DEAD."
"He has an unhealthy obsession with health apps."