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'How many calories do you burn by downloading apps?'
"I'm done - I only jog far enough to burn off the cheesecake I had for breakfast."
"My fitbit keeps track of my calories burned while I chase yield on my stocktrading app."
One week after new year. The rest of the year.
"I hate it when the damned things decide they need to get out and burn off some calories."
"Walking may burn more calories, but you're three times as likely to nosh."
'But doesn't the extra chewing I do by eating more food burn more calories?'
'Wow, swimming IS great exercise! The bathroom scale I put down here shows I'm 20 pounds lighter!'
'Yes, maybe my high metabolism DOES keep me slim.'
'These are called, 'Diet Pants.' They'll never fit, but you'll burn 250 calories trying to get into them.'
'Guess how many calories I just burned?'
"When I'm not running, I read...usually menus."