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'No, he's right. Cows have three udders. One for skim milk, one for two percent and the third one's for lactose free.'
"So, it's Gluten free, lactose free and meat free. How does it taste?"
"It's sugar, fat, gluten and lactose free...They say it will help you live longer."
"Y' know, a GOOD host would provide a lactose-free option!"