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"I think we should widen the radius on our dating apps."
"There's no point in our being friends if you won't let me fix you."
"Talk to me. You have wounds. I have salt."
"I can hear myself think - in a sort of vibrato."
"Why don't I tell you a little bit about myself while you check to see if anything I'm wearing was made in a sweatshop."
'My life coach traded me.'
"Maybe this is the coffee talking, but we could go back to my place, do some paperwork, and then binge-watch "Borgen".
"Thanks! I couldn't find my keys again so I finally cleaned it."
"Um...aren't you a bit overdressed for coffee and sweet bread?"
'I teach junkyard security at the local obedience college.'