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"If it's a series of patterned clicks, I'm not here."
'Feel like going out clubbing later?'
"Out getting smashed, AGAIN?!"
"...The wife is liable to crank up the invisible fence."
'Sorry guys. I'm spending the evening with my lovely wife.'
Tags:read, reading, cue, cue card, cue cards, teleprompt, teleprompter, hostage, hostages, hostage situation, marriage, marriages, married, married life, marry, men, man, staying in, relationship, relationships, problem, problems, date night, date, dates, dating, the boys, the guys, phone, phone call, stereotypes, boy's night out
'Your mom as our designated driver, man, is sure putting a damper on our fun!'
"Please bring him home safely so I can kill him."
Tags:husband, husbands, wife, wives, boy's night out, boys night out, lad's night out, lads night out, late night, late nights, prayer, prayers, marital spat, marital spats, domestic, domestics, argument, arguments, marital problem, marital problems, married life, curfew, curfews, nightly prayer, nightly prayers
"What I like about this place is they let - if you'll pardon the expression - sleeping dogs lie."
"Don't even think about sneaking off to the pub tonight."
"So what did you do before you were married?"
"Hmph! Your uploaded photos tell a different story."
"Ignore Mister Sooky over there...he's just upset that I wouldn't let him go to the put."
Tags:escape, escape artist, escape artists, sulk, sulker, sulkers, trick, tricks, husband, husbands, wife, wives, cardboard cutouts, cardboard cut-out, cardboard cut-outs, sneaky, cardboard cutout, sook, sulking, beer, beers, pint, pints, bossy wife, bossy wives, boy's night out, grounded, curfew, curfews, boys' night out
"Some best friend you are!"
"My WIFE charges me late fees!"
Tags:late fee, late fees, late-fee, late-fees, night out, nights out, husband, husbands, wife, wives, married life, married couple, bossy wife, bossy wives, bossiness, boy's night out, boys night out, control freak, control freaks, fee, fees, drinking companion, drinking companions, drinking buddy, drinking buddies
"Let Daddy sleep in Darling: He was out half the night howling at the moon with his friends..."
"Yes, I did keep your dinner warm. I put it in the dog."
Tags:husband, husbands, drinking problem, drinking problems, drunk, drunks, drunkard, drunkards, alcohol problem, alcohol problems, alcoholic, alcoholics, wife, wives, housewife, housewives, homecooked meal, homemade meal, homemade meals, home-cooked meals, boy's night out, marital problems, marriage problems, revenge, vengeance
"You signal back and tell him no, you won't be popping out for a quick pint!"
Tags:native american indian, native american indians, native american, native americans, indian, indians, smoke signal, smoke signals, smoke-signal, smoke-signals, communication, communications, communicating, chief, chiefs, campfire, campfires, camp fire, camp fires, pint, pints, wild west, western, westerns, boy's night out, night out, nights out, wild-west
"Bye dear. Don't worry about me drinking - alcohol won't touch my lips. I'll use a straw!"
No Zone: 'Don't know about you, Alf - But I might as well have stayed in with the missus!'
'What shall we drink to? How about to 4am?'
'Because I know you Carl. You'll go trumpeting down the road with the boys and you'll forget to take the garbage out!'
'I'll bet you could find 'em all blindfolded!'
'You'll be pleased to know that I'm staying in tonight,my love.
"I'm going to the pub because I want to live in a species appropriate environment."
"Where would you like to be tonight, on top or bottom?"