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"My name is Phil, and I, too, am..."
'I am willing to fail... as long as it's not my fault.'
'That sort of thing just makes me procrastinate.'
"My life has been totally screwed up for years, but thus far no one has stepped forward to claim responsibility."
Portuguese Mom of War
"I feel guilty because I introduced my Dad to video games and now he's addicted to them!"
"I told you what would happen if we took responsibility for our own actions."
"That's your defense? -- if you hadn't robbed the bank, somebody else would have?"
"We're gonna have a lot of angry customers today...when they realize the prices are not as low as advertised. I'm playing a correction in next week's circular! When I'm back from vacation!"
Corporate Responsibility - All front with nothing behind it.
"It's just a lamp. There's no need to hand in your resignation."