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"Honey, this is that new accounting team I was telling you about. Due to certain irregularities on my part, they'll be taking the house, the car and a couple of the kids."
"In the event of an actual S.E.C. investigation, legal representation will drop from the ceiling."
'Any questions about alleged accounting irregularities will be answered by my assistant, Mr Puppeto...'
"For God's sake man, give it a break. You were an accountant!"