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"When I make eye contact for the first time, I want it to be with the right person."
"Don't worry—it's just a phase."
Tags:kid, kids, toddler, toddlers, crawling, crawl, crawls, crawler, abnormal, hyper, hype, phase, through a phase, super, power, powers, child, childhood, baby, babies, upside down, ceiling, mother, motherhood, mothers, mothering, mom, moms, mum, mums, dad, dads, father, fathers, fatherhood, kids these days
"I moved to the Internet to be closer to my children."
Tags:parents, parenting, parenthood, parental, parents, coffee shop, coffee, coffeeshop, coffeeshops, laptop, laptops, web, internet, kid, kids, dad, dads, father, fathers, fatherhood, new dad, new dads, new father, new fathers, millennial, millennials, kids these days, tech, gadget, gadgets, technological, family
"It's like texting, but for dead people."
Tags:occult, occultist, ouija, ouija board, board, spirit, spirits, ghost, ghosts, the dead, dead, death, died, die, dying, curse, cursed, demon, demons, parenting, parent, parents, kid, kids, child, childhood, children, kids these days, text, texting, cell, cells, cell phones, phone, phones, mobile, mobiles, mobile phones, daughter, daughters, supernatural, superstitious, superstition, superstitions, text, texts, gadget, gadgets, old world, new world, modern, modern life
Lemonade App $1
Tags:childhood, child, children, kid, kids, modern childhood, ruined childhood, modern children, modern child, modern kid, modern kids, kids these days, lemonade stand, lemonade stands, lemonade stall, lemonade stalls, selling lemonade, app, apps, smartphone, smartphones, screen addict, screen addicts, technology
"It's for a young woman in the generation that knows how to read but doesn't feel like it."
Tags:bookworm, book worm, bookworms, book worm, book, books, novel, novels, library, librarians, librarian, book lover, book lovers, literature, literary, lit, lit major, read, reading, avid reader, readers, reader, novel, novels, novelist, novelists, literal, literal joke, shopping, bookshop, bookshops, book shop, book shops, library, libraries, librarian, librarians, shelves, shelf, bookstore, clerk, generation, generational, generation gap, kids these days
"Lemonade App: $1"
Tags:spin off, spoof, spoofed, parody, parodied, kid, kids, tech, technology, phone, phones, mobile, mobiles, mobile phone, mobile phones, cell, cells, cell phone, cell phones, app, apps, gadget, gadgets, internet, game, games, modern, modernise, modernity, modernised, modernize, modernized, cynical, cynicism, kids these days, lemonade stand, lemonade stands
"I believe this is one of Rembrandt's earliest selfies."
Tags:rembrandt, pretentious, pretentiously, pretension, pretensions, pretense, snob, snobby, snobbery, snobbish, snowman, snowmen, art, arts, artistic, artist, artists, artistically, rembrandt, rembrandts, dutch, dutch masters, dutch master, classic, history of art, authority, old master, old masters, gallery, galleries, prolific, self-portrait, selfportrait, self portrait, selfie, phone, phones, mobile, mobiles, cell, cellphone, cell phone, tech, technological, gadget, gadgets, museum, museums, modern, modern life, modern living, modern world, social media, vanity, kids these days
"I hope that isn't real fur."
Tags:vegan, veg, vegans, veggie, vegetarian, vegetarians, cruelty, cruelty free, cruelty-free, fur, fur industry, santa, santa's grotto, grotto, santa clause, santa claus, claus, animal rights, animal rights activist, fur ban, happy holidays, play on words, word play, word-play, modern, modern life, modern world, kids these days, kids say the darndest things, kid, kids, child, childhood, awareness, aware, christmas, christmas time, merry christmas
"These days, I suppose it doesn't matter whether you've read Thomas Mann or not."
Tags:bar, bars, pub, pubs, ego, egotistical, thomas mann, mann, education, educate, educated, classical education, educational, higher education, liberal arts, liberal art, liberal arts education, book, books, bookish, book lover, book lovers, book worm, book worms, literary, literature, european, european fiction, european literature, world literature, world, international, intellectual, intellectualism, culture, cultured, man of culture, kids these days, nostalgia, nostalgic, these days
"Well, it strikes me as hilariously ironic that someone as small as me is such a challenge to two people as huge as you!"
Tags:mommum, moms, mums, dad, dads, father, fathers, mother, mothers, motherhood, fatherhood, child, childhood, kid, kids, kids say the darndest things, kids these days, impolite, manner, manners, challenge, challenging, challenged, challenges, parent, parents, parenting, parenthood, parental, family, families
"New Classic Books Revamped for Today's Youth"
Tags:bookworm, book worm, bookworms, book worm, book, books, novel, novels, library, librarians, librarian, book lover, book lovers, literature, literary, lit, lit major, read, reading, avid reader, readers, reader, novel, novels, novelist, novelists, modern, modern life, update, updated, classics, kids these days, trend, trends, trending
"When I was your age, I was fifteen."
Tags:when i was your age, when i was a boy, grandparent, grandparents, grandad, grandads, grandfather, grandfathers, ageing, getting old, old people, old person, elderly people, elderly person, old man, elderly man, teen, teens, teenager, stating the obvious, reprimand, reprimanding, kids these days
You Have One New Friend Request
Tags:friends, friendship, friend request, sandpit, playground, children, social media, park, request, make friends, accept, ignore, sand, sand castle, play, playtime, break, recreation, park, kid, kids, child, children, drawing, boy, boys, girl, girls, play equipment, modern, modernity, kids these days, making friends, bond, bonding
'You mean like a zombie apolcalypse?'
'Kids don't know they're born today - WE didn't have pictures in the fire at their age.'