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"You're interdenominational, you attend the electronic church, and you want to deduct your channel changer as transportation. Have I got that right?"
"...When it comes to money, I'm non-denominational."
"So Jesus, what denomination are you?"
'Well, if you don't like our rules then start your own denomination.'
"I haven't confirmed it personally, but I hear the Lutherans have the best coffee."
"In my experience the Baptist have the best potlucks."