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'The Electronic Health Records software works very well. I entered the patient's medications, vitals, and allergies. The software calculated the course of treatment, projected outcome, and anticipate insurance reimbursement.'
'According to you records you're actually dead.'
"Mr. Benton, I'm afraid your electronic health records got lost in the electronic shuffle."
'You don't need to worry about your records being sold to the highest bidder...they'll bugger it and sell them off cheap!'
"Sorry I'm late, I had to retrieve your health records."
'I've been reviewing your medical history ... '
"Him? No he isn't my doctor, don't be foolish. He's my foreign policy advisor."