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'According to the hospitals new electronic patients records system he's pregnant.'
"Could you not call me Ray this time?"
'OK, the old one's in my right hand, the donor's in my left. Rght?'
When the President's adviser makes a mistake.
"I don't know, Doc, a man can 'spring forward' and 'fall back' just so many times."
"I can't remember if I didn't like his second book or his second wife."
Tags:party, parties, cocktail party, cocktail parties, host, hosts, second wife, second wives, author, authors, women discussing men, remarry, remarriage, bad author, bad authors, mix up, mixed up, confuse, confused, confusion, unsure, modern life, modern times, modern attitudes, boring conversation, boring conversations
'This isn't the kind of sales job I was hoping for.'
Tags:pirate, pirates, pirating, pirated, ship, ships, pirate ship, pirate ships, boat, boats, sails, sail, sailer, sailers, sailing, sailed, sale, sales, sales job, sales jobs, salesman, salesmen, hoping for, mixed up, mix up, mixes up, mixing up, confuse, confused, mistake, wrong, the flying mccoys, flying mccoys
"You're lost. This is Mom's apple pie."
"This is Edward the Great. I don't know any Edward the Weenie."
'Sorry, you've got to go back. I've got you penciled in for eight more months of suffering.'
"Maybe we need more space between Fashion Week and Shark Week."
Tags:shark, sharks, great white, great whites, fashion, fashions, fashion week, shark week, combine, combined, fashion-week, fashion-weeks, fashion weeks, clothes, clothing, catwalk, catwalks, model, models, modelling, supermodel, supermodels, fashion model, fashion models, fashion-model, fashion-models, mix up, mix-up, combine, combined
'I would've been a more effective teacher today if I'd gotten here with my lesson plan instead of my grocery list.'
"I'm a bird dog."
Tags:dog, dogs, bird, birds, pet, pets, pet dog, pet dogs, birdhouse, birdhouses, bird house, bird houses, confused, confusion, pretend, pretending, role confusion, mix-up, mix up, mixed up, mix ups, mix-ups, swapping roles, make believe, play, playing, child, kid, kids, childhood, gun dog, gun dogs, hunting, hunter, hunters, hunting dog, hunting dogs, determination, determined
'I ordered an 'iron condor' not an 'iron duck'!'
'Breast implants? There must be some mistake. I have you down for knee surgery not breast implants!'
'No, I said put the money in the Caymen Islands.'
"Yeah, well your profile wasn't exactly honest either."
Tags:online dating, internet dating, dating site, dating sites, whale, whales, desert island, desert islands, castaway, castaways, marooned, mistake, mistakes, mix up, mix ups, ix-up, mix-ups, disappointment, disappointments, let down, let downs, let-down, let-downs, date, dates, bad date, bad dates, first date, first dates, awkward date, awkward dates
"Hey! I was looking all over for you. You have the wrong piece of paper."
Tags:paper, papers, confused, confusion, mix, mix up, mix-up, similar, capitalism, worker, workers, capitalist, pointless, nihilism, nihilist, aimless, search, searching, office workers, office, work, workers, look, looking, searched, wrong, mistake, mistakes, error, errors, muddle, muddled up, muddled
"Wow, I've never met an astronomer before."
Tags:tortoise, tortoises, upsidedown, upside down, upside-down, tortoise shell, tortoise shells, astronomer, astronomers, astronomy, hero worship, mix up, mix ups, anthropomorphic, anthropomorphism, falling over, fallen over, accident, accidents, happy accident, happy accidents, turtle, turtles, physicist, physicists, physics, scientist, scientists
'To sped up our sandbox compliance issues I've called in a couple of sandbox experts.'
Suddenly Maude realised she was wearing the wrong panty liner.
"I think we're ready for a tree."
Tags:word play, play on words, mix up, situational, awkward, parents, parenting, parental, nursery, tree nursery, child, kid, children, kids, baby, babies, tree, trees, plants, house plant, house plants, indoor plant, indoor plants, garden, gardens, gardened, gardening, responsibility, responsible, family, starting a family
"I think that should cover this week's news cycle."
Tags:shop, shops, drug, drug store, drugs store, check out, checking out, pay, pays, paying, news, news cycle, news cycles, week, weeks, week news cycle, concoct, concocting, make up, making up, lie, lies, lying, mix up, mixing up, newspaper, news reporter, news reporters, journalist, journalism, formula, formulas, ingredient, ingredients, chemical, chemicals
"Due to a mixup in the paperwork you've been sent to doggie heaven."
Tags:pearl gates, pearly gates, gates of heaven, heaven, afterlife, the afterlife, st.peter, st peter, saint peter, judgement, judgement day, dying, died, dog, dogs, puppy, puppies, pet dog, pet dogs, dog lover, dog lovers, pet, pets, dog owner, dog owners, mans best friend, man's best friend, dog heaven, doggie heaven, doggy heaven, mix up, mix ups, mix-up, mix-ups, paperwork