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"First, we numb you by showing you today's headlines."
Tags:doctor, doctors, hospital, hospitals, surgeon, surgeons, surgery, surgeries, operation, operations, operating theatre, operating theatres, operating room, operating rooms, media, news, newspaper, newspapers, magazine, magazines, technology, online, fake news, laptop, laptops, tablet, tablets, smartphone, smartphones, headline, headlines, anaesthetized, anaesthetize, anesthetized, anesthetize, anaesthetised, anaesthetise, anaesthetist, anaesthetists, anesthetist, anesthetists, painkiller, painkillers, numbing, numb, numbed
"What'll it be—Novocain or Yanni?"
Tags:dentist, dentists, dental office, dental offices, dentist's office, dentist's offices, dental, dental work, teeth, tooth, teeth cleaning, cleaning, teeth cleanings, cleanings, going to the dentist, anesthetic, anaesthetic, anaesthetist, anaesthetists, anesthetist, anesthetists, new age, entertainment, cavity, cavities, numbing, music, musician, musicians, instrumental, medical, medicine, putting to sleep, drug
"Now start counting down from ten."
Tags:hospital, hospitals, clinic, clinics, doctor's office, doctor's office, medical, medicine, doctor, doctors, patient, patients, health, health care, healthcare, operation, operations, operating, o.r., o.r.s, or, ors, operating room, operating rooms, operation room, operation rooms, surgery, surgeries, surgeon, surgeons, countdown, countdowns, counting down, rocket, rockets, rocket ship, rocket ships, spaceship, spaceships, science, anaesthetist, anaesthetist, anesthetist, anesthetists
'We tend to favour more traditional anaesthetic techniques here.'
"And now, my mother, Mrs. Knable, will put you to sleep with tales of her arthritis."
"Remove your shoes and socks. We ran out of laughing gas"
"Will a local anesthesia work? I'm from out-of-town."
Tags:hospitals, hospital, local anesthetic, local anaesthesic, local anaesthesics, local anaesthesia, local anesthesia, pain killer, pain killers, painkiller, painkillers, medical procedure, surgical procedure, local anesthetics, doctors, doctor, patients, patient, medicine, medical, anesthesia, out-of-town, out of town, anaesthetist, anaesthetists, anesthetist, anesthetists
"We're running a little behind, but we'd be happy to have our anesthesiologist put you under for a few hours, until the doctor is ready to see you."
"Okay, he looks pretty stable – switch the middle screen back to the Superbowl."
Tags:operation, operations, operating theatre, operating theatres, operating theater, operating theaters, operating room, operating rooms, surgery, surgeries, surgeon, surgeons, patient, patients, anesthetist, anesthetist, superbowl, football, football lover, football lovers, football fan, football fans, sport, sports, medical malpractice
'We're playing doctor ??" Billy's the anesthetist.'
Anesthetists always get a good nights sleep.
"You want a local anesthetic? Okay, our receptionist will tell you endless stories about her grandchildren."
'If we taped their incoherent ramblings under anesthesia it would make a great reality show.'
"He's taking selfies again. More anesthesia!"
Tags:anaesthesia, anesthesia, anaesthetists, anaesthetist, anesthetists, anesthetist, pain killer, pain killers, painkiller, painkillers, drug, hospital, hospitals, selfie, selfies, self-portrait, self-portraits, surgeon, surgeons, surgical procedure, surgical procedures, modern fad, modern fads, operation, operations
'And now for the anesthesia: I've got plenty of conventional anesthetics I could use here but you can also choose to spend half an hour on the phone with my mother...'
"You'll note, Clammerhorn, the yellow tank is helium."
Tags:anaesthesiologists, anaesthesiologist, anaesthesiology, anesthesiologists, anesthesiologist, anesthesiology, anaesthetists, anaesthetist, anesthetists, anesthetist, operating theater, operating theaters, operating theatre, operating theatres, surgical team, surgical teams, surgery, surgeries, helium, drug, operation, operations
'Tough luck. It's our anaesthetist's day off!'
'Relax - we use only the latest pain-free technology. You won't feel a thing!'
'We're going to put you under. Start texting backwards from 10...'
'It's just a precaution, there were lots of fiddley bits left over at the end of the operation.'
'It's just a precaution, the anesthetist can't find his wedding ring.'
"Relax, un-controllable trembling is natural before major surgery."
Man in a Coma with a 'While You Were Out' note.
Tags:coma, comas, unconscious, hospital, hospitals, hospital bed, hospital beds, patient, patients, healthcare, while you were out, delivery, deliveries, delivery card, delivery cards, hospital treatment, operation, operations, medical procedure, medical procedures, anaesthesia, anaesthetics, anaesthetic, anesthetic, anesthesia, anaesthetist, anaesthetists, anesthetists, anesthetist, unconsciousness
"...and how about you, Wellington? Does this smell funny to you?"