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'Doc - this isn't going to cost me a lot - is it?'
"I could use a real shot in the arm, but my HMO doesn't cover it."
'Uh-huh...yep...looks like you're in good shape to pay through the nose for today's visit.'
'It's bad news - my bill's ready.'
Herbst & Jones MDs: Graduated 'Last in their Class' Medical Associates - Lowest Rates in Town!
Tags:md, mds, doctor, doctors, physician, physicians, gp, gps, medical school, medical schools, medical class, medical classes, doctor's fees, doctors fees, doctors bills, doctor's bills, medical degree, medical degrees, medical insurance, healthcare cost, healthcare costs, medical cost, medical costs
'Yes, it is something you should be concerned about...this is your credit report.'
"Universal healthcare? Yes! I believe everyone has the right to all the healthcare I can bill them for."
"Your disease is so rare we'll have to run some tests to see the maximum amount we can bill you for."
Tags:health care, healthcare, hospital, medical insurance, health insurance, medical test, medical tests, diagnosis, medical bill, medical bills, hospital bill, hospital bills, doctor's bill, doctor's bills, hospitals, maximum billing, cost of healthcare, universal healthcare, medical insurance, preexisting conditions
"We don't send statements - they cause too many heart attacks."
"I'm keeping you overnight. I found what might be several porsche payments."
"Everything looked fine. We're just giving you a mild sedative before showing you the bill."
"Yes, I do treat patients with memory loss, but I insist that they pay in advance."
Doctor's profits match a patient's scar.
'For patients with a diagnosis of amnesia, send billing statements weekly until paid.'
"Take two of these a day and if you're not feeling better soon... come back when your wallet is full."
Tags:prescription, prescriptions, medicine, medicines, medication, medications, drug, prescription cost, prescription costs, medical bill, medical bills, healthcare cost, healthcare costs, doctor, doctors, doctors bill, doctor's bill, doctor's bills, doctors bills, checkup, checkups, check up, check ups, check-up, check-ups
'The test results are in. We suggest you go home and discuss the treatment options with you accountant.'
'Good news honey! We're able to afford that jacuzzi!'
"Can I borrow your credit card, Dad? - We're going to play doctor."
Tags:playing doctor, role play, role plays, role-play, role-plays, kid, kids, childhood, childhoods, credit card, credit cards, bank card, bank cards, medical bill, medical bills, doctors bill, doctors bills, medical insurance, health insurance, doctor's bill, doctor's bills, healthcare cost, healthcare costs
"The doctor encourages second opinions, but not about his fees."
Tags:referral, referrals, second opinion, second opinions, doctor, doctors, patient, patients, patient care, healthcare, health care, gp, gps, specialist, specialists, medical fee, medical fees, healthcare costs, medical costs, medical bills, doctor's bills, doctors bills, medical bill, medical expenses
"I made a grave error at your last visit - my bill was $50 too low."
Tags:medical malpractice, lawsuit, lawsuits, medical lawsuit, medical lawsuits, doctor's bill, doctors bill, doctor's bills, doctors bills, medical insurance, health insurance, medical cost, health cost, medical bills, health costs, patient, patients, checkup, checkups, check-up, check-ups, healthcare costs, physical, physicals
"I assure you that you don't have Alzheimer's because you paid my fee last week."
Tags:alzheimers, alzheimer's, alzheimer's disease, dementia, ageing, aging, memory, remembering, bills, bill, doctor's bill, doctors bill, doctor's bills, doctors bills, medical fee, medical fees, health insurance, medical insurance, healthcare, health care, check-up, check up, checkup, check-ups, check ups, checkups
"We've isolated your disease, Mrs. Grosenik. We can proceed as soon as we isolate your checkbook."
"I'll just tap your wallet...oops...chest."
Tags:hospital, hospitals, patient, patients, healthcare, medical bill, medical bills, healthcare cost, healthcare costs, medical cost, medical costs, doctor's bill, doctors bill, doctor's bills, doctors bills, health insurance, medical insurance, diagnosis, diagnoses, patient care, patient, patients
'The good news is you're no longer in denial. The bad news is your health insurance is.'