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"Great for worship then! Great for retail now!"
Tags:church, churches, consumer, consumers, consumerism, consumerist, agenda, agendas, retail, retailer, retailers, commercialism, commercial district, commercial districts, estate agent, estate agents, real estate, real estate agent, real estate agents, letting agent, letting agents, selling point, selling points, sell out, sells out, selling out, declining, decline, declines, church attendance, religious
"Why did you become a crusader? You don't even go to church."
Tags:history, historical, medieval, crusade, crusades, crusader, crusaders, jerusalem, holy land, knight, knights, soldier, soldiers, military, army, armies, religion, religious, church, churches, church attendance, war, wars, warfare, violence, christianity, christian, christians, reason, reasons, questioning, belief, religiosity
"Perhaps I should have called this an Ice Cream Social."
Football or no football, that's not how we pass the plate.
The Ribbon, Nemesis Of Crime - Part Three
"I AM committed to church. I go sometimes, once in a while, and every now and then."
'The pastor is the one who tells all the kids to be quiet and sit down.'
'I think I see why attendance has been down.'
How To Bump Up Attendance Numbers With Free Stuff...
Tags:freebie, freebies, free gift, free gifts, special offer, special offers, church attendance, church, churches, baseball, baseball stadium, baseball stadiums, church service, church services, baseball, game, games, match, matches, attendance, palm sunday, lent, ashes, reynolds unwrapped, congregation, congregations, fan, fans
Follow God On Twitter
"See? The church is full now, but after you shake it and make it snow, the church is empty."
"I wonder if he's talking to me?"
Tags:sermon, sermons, sunday sermon, sunday sermons, preach, preaches, preaching, homily, homilies, preacher, preachers, churchgoer, churchgoers, christian, christians, catholic, catholics, protestant, protestants, church, churches, church attendance, church attendant, pew, pews, audience, audiences, personal, personally
"Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him to fish and you will never see him in church on Sunday again."
Tags:church, growth, churches, spreading, religion, christianity, christians, tumour, tumor, unwanted, growing, congregation, unwelcome, overbearing, remove, atheism, finding god, god, spirituality, symptoms, symptomatic, cancer, cancerous, sunday worship, congregation, congregations, church attendance
"As a single young male at this church I am uncomfortable being constantly evaluated for marriage potential."
"Oh, no! Do you mean we still have to go to Church?!"
"Since you can't attend every Sunday, couldn't you least like us on Facebook?"
"For the convenience of our absent members, our ushers will be calling at your homes with their collection plates."
Tags:church, church service, churches, church services, ministers, sermons, collections, collection plate, collection plates, offering plate, offering plates, minister, sermon, collection, church attendance, congregation, congregations, parishioner, parishioners, tv, television, televised sermon, ushers, usher
'We were forced to leave our last church when some visitors took our seats.'
"Attendance is way up since they substituted fortune cookies for those funny little wafers."
Church sign: Now With WiFi.
Elydale Church: Assembly Required.
'Pastor?. . . We've been trying to get our far left friends to come to church with us. . . but they're still afraid of Christians. . . what can we do to get them here?'
'It's Sundays like this that I regret our church website is so popular.'
'Here it is. You did attend church once when it wasn't Easter.'