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"If it's any consolation, he seemed like a bit of a jerk."
'I wish I had your health.'
"If I fall asleep now, I'll get six hours sleep and be all right. If I fall asleep now, I'll get four hours sleep and drink lots of coffee. If I wake up now, I can call in sick before anyone gets to the office..."
Hotel Rooms of the Old Testment
Downside of a memory foam mattress.
'Can I do the procedure without putting you under? Sure, if you're one of those people who doesn't mind extreme pain and the sight of blood.'
Pork belly contracts.
Migraine. Thinking about who to vote for is making me sick!
The doctor had a wonderful bedside manor.
Nil By Ear
"When euphemism time comes which would you prefer - 'passed away' or should I just say that he boxed?"
"We couldn't save him - which is obviously a tragedy, but I can assure you it was a comedy at the time."