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'I'm not jumping ... this is the only WiFi hotspot in the building.'
"There's an Officer Ripley inside who sure could use a hug."
Tags:teddy, teddies, teddy bear, teddy bears, soft toy, soft toys, officer, officers, policemen, policeman, police officer, police officers, cop, cops, suicidal, death wish, death wishes, death-wish, death-wishes, ledge, talking down, talk down, talk-down, cuddle, cuddles, hug, hugs, toy, toys, depression, depressed, mental health, mental state
"Just in case the conference call runs long."
Tags:hanging rope, hanging, hangings, noose, nooses, suicidal, death wish, death-wishes, death, deaths, suicidal, meeting, meetings, bored, boring, bored to death, board meeting, meets, conference, conference calls, workplace, work, dark humor, dark humour, long, drag, drags, dragging, corporate culture, death-wish, death wishes, conference call
"Instead of jumping, how'd you like to join the bridge workers union?"
Lover's leap and Infatuation leap.
"You don't have to do this, Mr. Wilson. Think about your family!"
A Writer's Suicide
"Sorry for laughing boss, but this appeals to my sense of irony!"
"I see your boss shot his brains out - he must have been a remarkable shot!"
The Unsuccessful Suicide Attempt
'I want to find out what's on the other side.'
"Would you say you were depressed at all?"
Crisis Negotiator on Vacation
Crocodile as a Deterrent to Suicide.
'Do you carry this huge gun because you have a very small penis?'
"'Goodbye cruel world, I can no longer handle the pressure.'"
"Saaay, aren't you the I.R.S. guy who audited me last week?"
Tags:irs, inland revenue service, internal revenue service, audit, audits, auditing, depression, death wish, death wishes, jumper, jumpers, jumping, death-wish, death-wishes, cop, cops, negotiation, negotiations, negotiator, negotiators, ledge, ledges, tax return, tax returns, tax law, tax laws, tax official, tax officials, tax inspector, tax inspectors
"Thank you for calling...please choose from the following options... Press 1 if you are slightly miffed... Press 2 if you are upset...Press 3 if you are upset...Press 4 if you are extremely upset...Press 5...."
"We got you a leaving card."
"I don't think that's going to work."
"This has always been your answer to everything, hasn't it !"