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"Promise me that if I die first you won't eat me."
"I've already made arrangements to be flushed down the toilet."
"I hardly think you'll warrant an invitation-only funeral."
"What will it take to put one of you two into a brand-new Eterna-5000 today?"
"Dick, would you be the keynote speaker at my funeral?"
Sign in a cemetery saying "Coming soon on this site - Oliver N. Dale 1884-?"
"I can afford to die or I can afford to be sick, but I can't afford to be sick and then die."
"Fred said he wants his ashes mingled with Daisy's ashes. He said not a word about my ashes!"
"Casket, coffin, or Tupperware?"