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"Well, it's an improvement over the last couple of places."
Welcome to the Museum of One's Kitchen
'Indiana, you old fool - that's not a valuable artifact and we're not in an ancient temple. We're at a garage sale and that's a tacky knickknack.'
'I'm past the phase of being embarrassed by you, and I'd like to start bringing my friends around as soon as we do something about all this kitsch.'
"I like this one. Do you think it will look good when knocked from the table to the floor?"
"According to this tracking app, he's somewhere between Knick Knack and Paddy Whack."