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"Oh my goodness – you should not be standing on a rolly chair."
"Mondays, Tuesdays, Wednesdays, Thursdays, and Fridays, am I right?
"Why are you reading obituaries?""To manage expectations..."
"All right, back to answering e-mails and sighing."
"Sure, I hate this job – but I love the built-in cup holder."
"It's his first day back at work."
"Don't get me started on crows."
"What podcasts should I download to help me stay complacent and tethered to a job I hate?"
"Don't call between nine and five. Those are the times that try men's souls."
"I don't want to say my job is inconsequential, but most of the paperwork I deal with is shredded before it gets to me."