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"So, how long have you been old?"
"It says here that in some cultures, burping at the dinner table is considered a compliment."
"I would suggest starting off with a nice tall, chilled glass of shut up juice."
"....And do you tell people who ask nosy, impertinent questions to "P*** off" (A) Frequently (B) Very Frequently or (C) Always?"
"I'm looking for a book called 'The Decline in Manners' by A. S. Thorpe."
'Can you call back later? I think I have a more interesting call on another line.'
Modern methods of reading over someone's shoulder.
'See that!? She completely blanked us!'