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'So there I am, trying to get some sun, when these 12 idiots come along and keep pushing me back in.'
A pod of bleached whales,
A lifeguard whale underwater fails to notice that a whale has beached himself on a nearby beach.
"I've got a pulse!"
Tags:beach, beaches, animal, animals, whale, whales, beached, stuck, trapped, save, saving, rescue, rescuing, first aid, cpr, c.p.r., cardiopulmonary resuscitation, resuscitation, mouth-to-mouth, pulse, heartbeat, breath, breathing, emergency, emergencies, rescue worker, rescue workers, paramedic, paramedics, doctor, doctors, first aider, first aiders, blowhole, blowholes, medical, medicine
"I get the sense there's some large body of water you're longing to return to - not a lake, maybe a sea? Is it an ocean?"
Tags:psychic, psychics, fortune, fortune teller, mystic, mysticism, divination, diving, crystal ball, crystal, crystal balls, ocean, oceans, sea, sealife, marine, marine life, whale, whales, bogus, hoax, con, con artist, conned, cons, hoax, hoaxes, clairvoyant, obvious, obviously, beached, beach, beaches, beached whale, beached whales, state the obvious, states the obvious, stating the obvious
"Hang in there! The polar ice cap is melting."
Tags:sea, seas, ocean, rising sea levels, sea level, sea levels, changing sea levels, global warming, climate change, melting, polar ice cap, animal, animals, whale, whales, beached, stuck, trapped, hang in there, wait, beach, beaches, beach scene, beach scenes, man, men, incompetent, incompetents, incompetence, unhelpful, too late
"Who ordered the krill pizza?"
Tags:whale, whales, rescue, rescuer, rescuers, rescued, rescue team, sealife, marine life, whaling, beluga, humpback, humpback whale, beached, beaches, beach, beached whale, fish, seashore, pizza, delivery, pizza boy, pizza guy, pizza man, deliver, delivered, pizzas, pizza delivery, krill, krills, order, order in, take away, takeaway, takeout, take out, animal, animals, modern, modern life, modern world
"If I were beached, could I do this?"
"If I were beached, could I do this?"
"And I thought we had problems."
Tags:desert, deserts, middle of the desert, middle of nowhere, traveler, travelers, traveller, travellers, crawling, dying, animal, animals, whale, whales, desertification, environmental destruction, environment, nature, global warming, climate change, beached, beached whale, beached whales, problem, problems, out-of-water, fish out of water, no water
"We found the poor thing stranded on the beach last summer and decided to adopt it."
Tags:animal, animals, pet, pets, pet owner, pet owners, whale, whales, aquarium, aquariums, tank, tanks, beach, beaches, stranded, beached, beached whale, beached whales, adopted, adoption, adoptions, pet adoption, adopting a pet, stray, strays, adopting a stray, summer, summertime, poor thing, swimming, unusual, unique, strange, ocean, oceans, sea, water, sand, found, came across, felt sorry
"Ah, the beach. My old nemesis."
Tags:animal, animals, talking animal, talking animals, whale, whales, beach, beaches, seashore, seaside, coast, coasts, beached, stuck, trapped, nemesis, enemy, enemies, rival, rivals, foe, foes, superhero, superheroes, hero, heroes, cape, capes, mask, masks, masked, adventure, adventures, problem, problems, trouble, environment
"The ONE Day I Don't Put On Clean Underwear"
Tags:whale, whales, sperm whale, whaling, whaler, whalers, beached, beach, beaches, beached whale, shore, washed up, washed, ashore, sea shore, sea, ocean, oceans, vacation, vacations, accident, accidents, accidental, underwear, murphy's law, murphys law, sod's law, sods law, accident, accidents, crowd, crowds, embarrassed, embarrass, embarrassing, parody, parodies, parodied
"Hey, you guys have the right idea. This is a lot more fun than beaching myself."
"You notice nobody gives a damn about beached minnows."
"You beach yourself, then when they're pushing you back into the water we make our move."
"You've been depressed and now you've got on your swimming trunks. You're not going to do something rash like beach yourself, are you?"
'You know what, you're right: I should have looked at the map earlier...'
"I'm not beached. I just don't swim on Saturdays."
Tags:sabbath, the sabbath, shabbat, rest, rests, resting, orthodox, tradition, traditional, orthodox jew, whale, whales, beach, beached, beaches, beached whale, hasidic, hasidic jew, jewish, hasidic jews, orthodox jews, custom, customs, religion, religions, religious, judaism, saturday, fish, fishes, ocean, oceans, sea, seas, play on words, word play, shpasik, jtoons
'It keeps Harold from oogling all of the bathing beauties.'
Tags:whale, whales, fish, fishes, race, races, racing, racer, racers, win, wins, winning, winner, winners, won, sea, seas, sealife, sea life, swim, swims, swimming, swimmer, swimmers, swam, beach, beaches, beaching, beached, victory, victories, victorious, lead, leads, leader, leaders, leading, in the bleachers, bleachers, in the bleachers
In his own way, Todd does his part to save the whales.
Tags:whales, whales, sea, seas, sealife, brochure, brochures, help, helping, helps, helper, helpers, samaritan, samaritans, worship, worships, worshipping, worshipper, worshippers, pray, prays, praying, prayer, prayers, save, saves, saving, beach, beached, saved, sunday, sundays, the argyle sweater, argyle sweater
Don't worry, I'll use my standard excuse: "Sorry I'm late Darling, but I was beached for two hours"...
Tags:boys night out, boys night, excuse, excuses, standard excuse, standard excuses, beach, beached, whale, whales, humpback whale, humpback whales, marine biology, marine biologist, marine biologists, delay, delays, delayed, night out, nights out, bad excuse, bad excuses, wife, wives, nag, nags, nagging, irresponsible, irresponsibility
'Could you give us a push?'
'Crikey where am I going to get the class case from?!'