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"Then I suppose we'll have to call it 'Air Force One and a Half'?
"This is something that is considered to be ever expanding."
"Your great great grandpa Karl's ashes are in this trunk, Billy. The old man was as big as a goddamn house."
'I'm practicing carrying you over the threshold for our honeymoon night.'
"I told him to trim a couple of inches off the middle and he thought it was a fat remark."
'Awright, enough with the thin jokes, already.'
"I auditioned for a reality show...and I got picked!"