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"I know my performance has slipped lately but I've been working on my legacy."
"Actually, it was an excellent year for bottom feeders."
"Your records indicate a great deal of early promise however you've apparently become old and bald."
'I'm very busy right now. I'll post your annual review on my blog this evening.'
'I've prepared a self-evaluation which you can refer to when you do my annual review.'
"We expect strong performance but not strong opinions."
Tags:interview, interviews, interviewers, interviewer, interviewee, interviewees, performance review, performance reviews, annual review, annual reviews, strong performance, strong performer, strong performers, opinion, opinions, opinionated, company culture, company cultures, culture of complacency, corporate
We are here...'In a nutshell...'
'It has had phenomenal growth and, for those involved, an atmosphere crawling with excitement. Congratulations, Hawkins, for heading our Bed Bug division.'
'Time for your annual performance rating, Fenwick. Take one step forward.'
'The complaints against you are as follows: You don't return calls, you don't encourage your staff, and you're nobody's best friend.'
'Mr. Gelt's performance critiques tend to be ad hoc.'
"Hah! That's a good one! 'Having your work reviewed by a committee is like being nibbled to death by ducks!' But what does that have to do with me?"
Tags:committee, committees, performance review, performance reviews, annual review, annual reviews, appraisal, appraisals, review, critique, criticism, work, death of a thousand cuts, animals, duck, ducks, corporate culture, workplace, office job, office jobs, analogy, analogies, metaphor, metaphors, management, leader, leadership
"Gentlemen, I'm pleased to say the firm is perfectly positioned to avoid chapter eleven and still be in existence this time next year."
"Mitchell will now review the quarterly earnings. Please fasten seat belts and place chairs in upright position."
"Any last words before we begin your evaluation?"
Tags:firing squad, firing squads, execution, executions, executioner, executioners, death, condemned man, condemned men, condemned woman, condemned women, condemned person, condemned people, evaluation, workplace evaluation, annual review, annual reviews, last word, last words, employee evalutation, employee evaluations
"I don't know about you, but I find these performance reviews to be nerve wracking."
"Under 'goals' you've put, 'take as much time off sick as I can get away with'..."
Tags:performance reviews, appraisal, appraisals, annual reviews, sick day, sick days, ambition, ambitions, work ethics, lazy, laziness, performance review, annual review, sick leave, sick, goal, goals, manager, managers, employee, employees, faking sickness, sick day, sick days, skive, skive, slack, shirk, dodge, bob off, slackers, slacker, skiver, skivers
It was the best feeling the first day I hit My Profit Target.
"My evaluation is based on peeking through the blinds."
'He may have swallowed too much change.'
'As you man have heard, I'm doing performance reviews.'
'Go easy on me. I just had my annual review.'
Whey they wanted to sniff out low performers they brought in the Big Dog.
Thanks For Not Firing Me Cards
'I'm rude to people I hire to prepare them for how they'll be treated when I fire them.'