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'Gretel, this time I poisoned the bread. We'll just follow the trail of dead birds home.'
'Hey, wanna hear something interesting?'
'On the plus side, she's reducing her carbon footprint.'
'... And they lived happily ever after, until she got pregnant and had a couple of brats who wouldn't go to sleep!'
Looks like the Freegans got here before us...
Why Grandma, what big teeth you have, said Little Red Riding Hood (Parent's bedtime story is presentation).
'Wi-fi-fo-fum! I smell the blood of an Englishman!'
'Blast this rise in girl crime!'
'Blast that Goldilocks! Now your mother thinks she needs one of those fancy orthopaedic beds!'
'Great, he's going to be a bean counter.'
'I couldn't believe my luck when all three of them panicked, and ran straight into the house of straw!'
Three bears watching Porridge on three different size tvs,