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"We already changed our phone service to something or other last week, so we don't need whatever it is you have."
"Hello. This is Dial-a-Grump. What the hell do you want?"
"The time is now 7:42 - and if you can hang on for half a sec, I'll witch you over to Phil with the weather."
'You've reached Human Resources automated phone service...'
Shouldn't the hotline have a connection to dial-a-prayer?
'We have plenty of electricity and great phone service but still no rain.'