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"I'm afraid there is no cure for what you have, but it's not contagious, which is a relief. Because I've been like, touching you and stuff."
"He died after a long battle with me."
'There's no known remedy yet but in three years time you should start bearing fruit.'
"You can stop worrying about winding up in a fast food meal. You have an incurable disease."
"Test results indicate you're incurably romantic."