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"According to the polygraph, you may be worshipping a false idol."
Thou Shalt Not Litter!
"Well Korah, maybe a golden chicken wasn't the right choice for a graven image."
"Please cut and paste these prayers to an other gods up there....just in case I've been following the wrong one."
"Cash bless you."
"Even this wouldn't have been enough to keep the youth from their smartphones."