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Put it through as an expense! Nobody's going to check, are they?
"Tell me again why you need a smartwatch, fitness tracker and wireless earbuds to teach creative writing."
'Some might see this as a bribe, Sir.'
"We're going to have to save some money...and one way is to rewrite the rules on expenses claim."
'What makes you think he was using this job as a springboard to becoming an MP?'
64 AD: Nero fiddles while Rome burns.
Crime means you have to take the money and run. In politics you run, then take the money...!
"This is an imaginative expenses claim. I wish we could use those skills of yours in the business."
'There's an unauthorized expenditure from petty cash for one million dollars in cat toys!'
MP employing wife
MP employing family members.
'Thank you for you car expense claim . . .why are you wearing bicycle clips?'
'Car expenses? So what's with the bicycle clips?'
Testing Division - How did my expenses claim stand up?