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"Where did we go wrong, Mother? Where did we go wrong?"
"Not 'Miracle on 34th Street' again?"
"I just pray to God that none of those poor, dear, innocent children ever see you when you get like this!"
"I'm Mrs. Claus and, at this time of the year, it's the only way I can talk to him."
Santa's wife: 'So where do you think you've been half the night?'