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"I haven't had this much fun since my colonoscopy."
'Oh, you guys!'
Stan tries to have a surprise birthday party for himself.
'Now I need to find Tim Washburn in accounting so I can serve him divorce papers.'
'The Birthday boy's home darling. Now what's this big surprise you little minx?'
"It's a birthday gift for my girlfriend. I'm putting them in a box so she doesn't know what she's getting!"
'OK, you don't look at the one I'm getting and I won't look at the one you're getting me.'
"Ok, doll! When you hear the last note of Happy Birthday, jump out of the cake and run like hell!"