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Man finds a rat in his hamburger
"Well of course I was a bit surprised that she didn't look like her online photo!"
"Uh, I think you'd better turn on the car radio, Martha...."
'From this distance, she looks rather nice: You're safe to go on this blind date of yours...'
"...School ends in four weeks."
"Remember, happiness sometimes sneaks in through a door you didn't know you left open. But sometimes, you have to keep your doors locked."