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'Excuse me, do these stairs go up or down?'
"Should I use a coaster?"
'Have you ever tried pushing a piece of string?.'
'Why does a stork stand on one leg?'
'Left-handed or right handed?'
"So what are you doing these days?"
The Shed Mystery: 'Well, don't forget Occam's Razor...The principle of the obvious answer usually being the correct one...that it's a portal to an 8th dimension parallel universe...'
"Who ordered the krill?"
'Why is it when you're looking for something, you always find it in the last place you look?'
'If your parents have a baby and its not your sister or your brother, who is it?'
'What do you mean, where's the little boy's room?... You know where we shit.'
'What's going on here?' - 'I told you she was stupid.'
Is the Pope a Catholic, Does a Bear Crap in the Woods?
"Really? So which kid are you scouting for your team?"
"Too much aftershave, visit to a bee farm. Bad combination."