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"Edward, you are already more than Christmassy enough."
"My goodness, it's little Benjie! You've grown into quite a distinguished man!"
Bouncer at the door of family reunion.
"My standard rule is - if I've seen a relative in the last two weeks, I don't have to kiss them."
'For the last time, I cannot make it to your family's Christmas gathering tonight.'
"A family party isn't complete until we all insult Tia Rosa's ex-husband."
"That's your Uncle Steve. (Don't talk to him, he scares me)."