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The Great Screen Of Japan
Tags:parody, parodied, parodies, great wall, great wall of china, japan, japanese, japanese culture, screen, screens, oriental screen, oriental screens, landscape, stereotype, stereotypes, cliche, cliches, art, artistic, artistically, stylized, stylised, decor, interior decor, interiors, interior design, furniture, furnishings, furnished, regional, regions, asia, east asia
"Of course I got rid of him...in my own way."
Tags:sleeping, sleeping with the fishes, concrete, concrete shoes, shoes, mob, mobs, mafia, mafias, mafioso, hit, hit man, hitman, hit men, hitmen, contract killer, kill, killer, lamp, lamps, lampshade, lamp shade, hired killer, contract, hired, hired gun, decor, decorate, decoration, decorating, interior design, interior decor, assassin, assassins, assassination, assassinations
"Well, I didn't have any more wall space, and I was also tired of being bald."
Tags:animals, animal, mounted, mounting, mount, mounted animal, animal head, head mount, head mounting, mounted head, animal hunting, hunting, poaching, shooting, shoot, hunt, poach, poacher, hunter, exotic animals, exotic animal, jungle animal, jungle animals, antlers, bald, baldness, boredom, bored, mid life crisis, mid-life crisis, designing, decor, decoration, decorating, interior decor, interior design
New Colors 2015
Tags:colour, color, colors, colours, pallette, palet, paletes, palettes, palette, art, artistic, descriptive, description, descriptions, honest, honesty, honest opinion, frank, frankness, colour match, color match, paint, painting, paints, painter, interior, interior decor, interior decorating, decor, interior design, home, home owner, home owners, homes, house, houses
"Whoa, someone's been doing some gathering."
Tags:cave, caveman, prehistory, prehistoric, pre historic, pre-historic, pre-history, cavemen, neanderthal, neanderthals, homo sapien, homo sapiens, homo erectus, early man, early men, stone age, stone-age, stone ages, stone-ages, dark age, dark-age, iron age, iron ages, bronze age, bronze ages, married, married life, marriage, interior, interiors, decor, decoration, decorating, interior decor, furniture, word play, play on words, word-play, hunter gatherer, home, homes, house, houses, home owner, home ownership, interior design
The corporate merger of Plushy's Carpeting and Sticky's Velcro was not a success.
"I'd like you to meet my pillows."
Tags:furniture, pillow, pillows, sofas, sofa, couch, couches, cushion, cushions, family, families, interior design, decor, decoration, interior decor, overdoing, overdone, overdoing it, loneliness, lonely, empty nest, empty house, replacement, dating, dates, date trouble, love life, impress, impressive, unimpressive, introductions, introduce, introducing, awkward, awkward moment, awkward silence, bachelor, bachelor pad, middle class, new middle class
"You don't think it's too ungapatchka?"
"I'm starting to think stripes."
Tags:stripe, striped, stripes, stripy, spot, spots, spotted, spotty, dot, dots, dotted, dotty, decor, decoration, decorative, interior, interiors, interior decor, interior decoration, interior design, design, designs, designed, women, woman, indecisive, furniture, upholstery, matching, home, homes, house, houses, home owner, home owners, home ownership
"We're here to tile your bathroom floor."
Tags:tile, tiles, tiler, tilers, tiling, bathroom tiles, d.i.y., do it yourself, home improvement, home improvements, decorate, redecorate, refurbish, refurbishment, bathroom, bathrooms, house, houses, home, homes, interior decoration, interior decor, renovate, renovation, redoecrating, decorator, decorators, builder, builders, grout, grouting, ceramics, ceramic tile, ceramic tiles
"Damn King Arthur and damn his round table."
Tags:king arthur, furniture, the round table, middle ages, medieval, interior design, furniture store, furniture stores, interior decor, camelot, furniture, shop, arthurian legend, legend, knight, knights, knights of the round table, english, heritage, angry, anger, design, carpenter, table, decor, design
Doctors Without Inferiors
Tags:doctor, doctors, doctors office, doctor's office, doctors offices, doctors offices, interior decoration, interior decorations, interior decor, gp, general practitioner, general practitioners, hospital equipment, healthcare, health care, hospital, hospitals, in hospital, hospitalization, poor healthcare, health insurance, bad health insurance
Yellow Fever: What you may catch if your painter sneezes.
'Don't worry, the first 30 years of being a painter are the hardest.'
'Do we want this one parallel with the floor or the ceiling?'
'What can I say? The Feng Shui in the litter box was off.'
Beware of Static Electricity
'It's been a mad house ever since the image of Elvis was seen on the wall after I primed it.'
Uses for Deactivated Missiles: Objects d'Art
'You fellows coming to lunch?'
'I don't know much about art, but I know what I like.'
Reason # 23 why a pile of money is better decor than a potted plant: nobody has to water it when you're away.
'I told you to not get Danny that Junior Carpenter set.'
'Think extra-plush carpeting will hide the hole?'
'The Feng Shui of this auditorium must be off.'