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"I'm into whole grains and long dirt baths, and I'm looking for someone who's not afraid to cross the road."
Tags:animal, animals, talking animal, talking animals, chicken, chickens, hen, hens, rooster, roosters, poultry, farm, farms, farmer, farmers, relationship, relationships, dating, date, dates, compatibility, chemistry, personal, personals, personal ad, personal ads, television, televisions, watching television, tv, tvs, watching tv, t.v., t.v.s, watching t.v., whole grains, health, food, dirt bath, dirt baths, why did the chicken cross the road, crossing, road, roads, unafraid, brave, courage, courageous, looking for mr. right, love, looking for love, searching for love, soulmate, soulmates
"I lied in my ad. I hate Wallace Stevens."
Tags:poet, poets, poetry, poem, poems, lie, lies, white lie, white lies, personal ad, personal ads, profile, profiles, dating profile, dating profiles, online profile, online profiles, date, dates, well-read, ad, ads, modern poet, modern poets, modern poetry, wallace stevens, pose, poses, poseur, poseurs, pretend, pretending, pretentious, pretentiousness, writer, writers, author, authors
Now at the Adult Pound
'You're type A+? Your personal ad said you were AB.' 'It must have been a type O.'
Cat Love Ads: "Are you; 'Stubborn, lazy, unfaithful and psychopathic...with no sense of humour?""
Tags:cat, cats, cat behaviour, cat behavior, feline, felines, feline behaviour, feline behavior, cat owner, cat owners, cat lover, cat lovers, pet, pets, singles ad, singles adverts, dating ad, dating ads, date, dates, dating profile, dating profiles, looking for love, personals, personal ad, personal ads
Lonely Hearts - Men seeking anything that stays still long enough.
Fantastic, fit, fortysomething exec, interested in culture, athletic pursuits, and gourmet food, seeks intelligent, dynamic, thirtysomething beauty for evolving relationship leading marriage.
"In your ad you said you'd grown up in the shade of coolibah tree. How so?"
"I saw your ad on the dating site, ma'am! You're looking for an old-fashioned man, aren't you?"
Tags:dating ad, dating ads, date, dates, dating advertisement, dating advertisements, romance, romances, romantic, romantics, date, dates, application, applications, computer, personal, personals, personal ad, personal ads, love life, love-life, girlfriends, boyfriend, boyfriends, online profile, online profiles, knight, knights, chivalry, chivalrous, old-fashioned, old fashioned, personal ad, personal ads, personal, personals
"Gee, you didn't mention your wart in your personal."
Tags:wart, warts, online profile, online profiles, personal ad, personal ads, personal advertisement, personal advertisements, blemish, blemishes, flaw, flaws, flawed, best foot forward, first date, first dates, blind date, blind dates, dating profile, dating profiles, internet dating, witch, witches, witchcraft
"I think you two may hit it off. Craig, here, is an attractive male academic in his early forties who seeks a warm, vivacious woman delighting in conversation, arts, and nature for an evolving romantic commitment, possibly marriage, while you, Vivian, are a good-looking, intelligent, stimulating woman in her late thirties who seeks an educated, unattached, well-bred man concerned with ideas, culture, and the environment with whom to share your life interests and companionship."
Tags:matchmaker, matchmakers, matchmaking, compatible, compatibility, compatibility test, compatibility tests, date, dates, dating, dating service, dating service, blind date, blind dates, personal, personals, personal ad, personal ads, classified ad, classified ads, companion, companions, single, singles, singles night, singles nights, upper class, upper classes, cocktail party, cocktail parties
'It's a misprint. I never said I had 'six pack abs'.'
"I didn't put this in my personal ad, but I'm synonymous with Belgian cuisine."
Tags:belgian cuisine, cuisine, cuisines, belgian cuisines, personal ad, personal ads, personal advert, personal adverts, synonymous, dating ad, dating ads, date, dates, boyfriend, boyfriends, girlfriends, rollerskate, rollerskates, roller skate, roller skates, rollerblade, rollerblades, roller-blade, roller-blades, personality type, personality types
"The phone number is her idea. I think she wants to split up."
"Here's one - 'Few-bricks-short-of-a-load seeks One-our-out-of-the-water.'."
Tags:acronym, acronyms, initialism, initialisms, initials, personal, personals, personal ad, personal ads, personal advertisement, personal advertisements, ad, ads, classified ad, classified ads, consumer, consumers, consumerism, greeting card, greeting cards, card, cards, card shop, card shops, holiday, holidays, single, single people
"Claws? Or no claws?"
"Ken bats left-handed, enjoys cultural as well as outdoor activities, and seeks a sensitive non-smoking woman for a lasting partnership that includes long walks, good music, and fielding practice."
Tags:dating, marriage, relationships, television, entertainment, media, baseball, sports, fielding practice, long walks, good music, lasting partnership, sensitive non-smoking woman, personal ad, personal ads, statistic, statistics, batter, batters, batting, batting practice, music lover, music lovers, dating profile, dating profiles, baseball lover, baseball lovers, baseball player, baseball players, mankoff
"You were careless to send us your personals ad instead of your resume, but I'll let it go since I also enjoy moonlit walks and cuddling."
"My ad clearly said I was looking for a friend with benefits, not on benefits."
Tags:benefits, benefits programme, benefits programmes, welfare program, welfare programs, welfare, entitlement, entitlements, handout, handouts, hand-out, hand-outs, personal ad, personal ads, personals, mislead, misled, misleads, misleading, misunderstand, misunderstands, misunderstanding, date, dates, dating, dating life, single life, single
"We met through the personals. We both were seeking someone 'Rubenesque'."
Tags:rubens, rubenesque, fat fetish, fat fetishism, artists, painters, artist, painter, painting, peter paul rubens, baroque, flemish, old masters, dating ad, dating ads, personal ad, personal ads, love, relationship, relationships, seeking, online, online dating, personals, personals ad, compatible, compatibility, love life, sex appeal
"Sorry, my mistake, I thought the dating agency said, 'a plain speaking man', 'bye."
Tags:plane enthusiast, plane enthusiasts, aeroplane enthusiast, aeroplane enthusiasts, airplane enthusiast, airplane anthusiasts, plane, planes, aeroplane, aeroplanes, airplane, airplanes, plain speaking, dating agency, dating agencies, dating ad, dating ads, dating advert, dating adverts, dating advertisements, personal ad, personal ads, personal, personals, blind date, blind dates, date, dates, girlfriend material, boyfriend material
'Your personals ad said you sold stocks.'
'Woman stuck in unfulfilling marriage seeks companion ... Hey, this is your cell phone number!'