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'Let's see... Ah! Here it is: 'Your policy does not cover floods,earthquakes or axe of god.' Sorry about that, Mr. Finkleman.'
Acts of God
"That's it. I'm taking the buyout."
Tags:office worker, office workers, office work, office job, office jobs, downsize, downsizing, buyout, buyouts, bought out, act of god, acts of god, lightning, lightning bolt, lightning bolts, hit by lightning, fired, firing, getting fired, canned, can, canning, getting canned, getting the sack, sacking, sacked, laid off, laid-off, lay off, lay-off, lay offs, lay-offs, redundancy, made redundant, redundancies, unemployed, unemployment
God uses a corkscrew on a volcano.
Tags:volcano, volcanoes, volcanologist, volcanologists, volcanology, corkscrew, corkscrews, pop the top, pops the top, act of god, acts of god, god's will, gods will, will of god, natural disaster, natural disasters, wine, wine bottle, cork, corks, uncork, uncorks, uncorking, warning, warnings, ominous, harbinger, harbingers
"Several groups have claimed responsibility."
Tags:volcano, volcanoes, terrorist attack, terrorist attacks, eruption, eruptions, angry gods, appeasing the gods, god, gods, act of god, acts of god, claim responsibility, claiming responsibility, responsible, responsibility, terrorist group, terrorist groups, explosion, explosions, implausible, lie, lies, lying
"Yee yee hee hee how how yip yip."
Tags:caveman, cavemen, prehistory, prehistoric, pre-history, pre-historic, volcano, volcanic, volcanoes, volcanic eruption, religion, faith, worship, idol, idols, idolize, power dynamic, power dynamics, god, gods, coincidence, coincidences, logical fallacy, science, scientific method, act of god, acts of god, religious danger, divine intervention, religious framework, religious interpretation, religious interpretations, primitive, primitives, civilization, civilisation, faith, faiths, religions, natural disaster, anthropologist, anthropologists, anthropology, dog, dogs, omen, omens, miracle, miracles, dog god, dog gods
"Whaddya gonna do? It's an act of dog."
'I'm afraid, unless you can show proof you're employed by God, I'll have to deny this claim.'
"I can't sue my insurance company because it was an act of god? Well, then, can I sue my church?"
"Norman doesn't like any loose ends in his contracts, he likes everything tied up tight...it can be a problem..."
"Frankly, when I took out the loan I sincerely believed we'd all be blown to hell before it came due."
Tags:loan, loans, borrowing, borrowing money, borrowed money, debt, in debt, debtor, debtors, irresponsible, irresponsibility, armageddon, doomsday, doomsayer, doomsayers, act of god, acts of god, apocalypse, the apocalypse, end of the world, the end off the world, unrealistic, optimist, optimists, taking out a loan
"Act of God? Not a problem—we sue God."
Tags:lawyer, lawyers, attorney, attorneys, solicitor, solicitors, barrister, barristers, law office, law offices, law, legal, lawsuit, lawsuits, sue, suing, suit, suits, god, act of god, acts of god, no problem, insurance, insurance claim, insurance claims, insurance adjuster, insurance adjusters, insurance company, insurance companies, religion, religious, court, courts, court case, court cases, trial, trials, weather, bad weather, natural disaster, natural disasters
Every cloud has a silver lining...
'My house was blown to Smithereens!'
'Our policy is quite plain. We don't pay out on claims we can't pronounce.'
Acts of God and Acts of the Devil
Cards for all occasions.
"I'm about to shake things up at WW Global. Inc!"
'I'm sorry, sir, but your insurance policy clearly states we don't cover acts of God.'
Tags:return, returns, returning, returned, insurance, insure, insures, insured, policy, policies, damage, damages, damaged, break, breaks, broke, broken, destroy, destroys, destroyed, cover, covers, covering, covered, act of god, acts of god, uninsured, uninsurable, guitar, guitars, the flying mccoys, flying mccoys
'I'm afraid your house insurance didn't cover a wolf blowing it down.'
"Just phone Mr.Fry and tell him the claim's been rejectedbecause the damage was deemed an 'Act of God'."
Tags:act of god, atheism, atheist, atheists, belief system, belief systems, faith, faiths, belief-system, belief-systems, religious belief, religious beliefs, insurance company, insurance companies, insurance claim, insurance claims, insurance salesmen, insurance salesman, secular society, secular societies
'The very name 'windfall profits' show it's an act of god.'
'I'm getting flooded with spam.'
Moore, OK: No 'Act of God'.